Sherlock Holmes enters a room carrying a box of lemons
"Where'd you get those?" asks Watson.
"A lemon tree, my dear Watson. A lemon tree."
Mom: Did you watch the movie with the little pumpkins?
Dad: I stopped it early because it was too gourdy for me.
What’s the National Donut Day theme song?
“Donut Stop Believing.”
I have so mushroom in my heart for you.
Why can't you tease egg whites?
Because they can't take a yolk.
Many people have puns, but they will nut tella you.
An apple and an orange signed up for a tournament. No one was really surprised when they had both were seeded.
What did the annoyed peach say to the mango?
Man-go away!
Tennis matches and strawberry jam have one thing in common. Cons-serve.
What happens if you swallow a whole corn cob?
You get corn-stipated!
Wholey-grain! You really bread my mind!
During World War 2, sending food to the troops was a challenge. Researchers had to concentrate to figure out how to send orange juice.
When do franks tell insults? At a wienie roast!
What competition do nuts participate in?
The peanut butter cup.
What do you get when you use a cookie cutter shaped like a deer? Cookie doe!
What is the difference between a pineapple and a school bus? The little pricks are at the inside of the bus, but on the outside of the pineapple.
A bowl of salad went to church
Lettuce pray.
Why will you never meet an ice cream workaholic?
They know how to chill out.
How do the New England Patriots eat their soup? In a Super Bowl.
A cable TV installer walks into a bar and orders a beer.
The bartender says, "You'll be served sometime between 7am and 2pm."
What’s a potato’s favorite TV program? Starch Trek.
What does a mommy cherry say to her children? I love you cherry much.
What did the nut tell itself before crossing the finish line? “I pe-can do it!”
The students were going nuts when they saw all the assignments due in the curri-kola-m.
Peaches tend to be really mean. After all, they have hearts of stone.
What’s the best part of a cow? The topside, of course.
What do dairy products say when they make a basketball shot? Colby!
National Herbs and Spices Day is celebrated annually on June 10.
What do you call someone who steals from the keebler elves? A crook-ie
The price of candy at the movie theater is quite ridiculous. They're always raisinet!
I burnt my Hawaiian pizza.
I should have used aloha temperature.
What is the only thing that can cure a sick do-nut?
An antidought!
What happened to the pineapple who was turned down for a date? Crushed pineapple.
Who wrote the book "Great Egg-spectations"?
Charles Chickens.
What does a pizza say when it wants to cuddle?
Fold me close.
Why does the cookie monster fear the gingerbread man? Because he’s one tough cookie.
A protestor threw a bunch of spices on Jason "Pink" London, but all it did was leave him "Saged and Confused".
What did the vegetable say at the party?
Lettuce turnip the beet!
How do comedians like their eggs?
Funny side up.
Dad Ordered Taco Bell
Asked how many Dillas come in their Ques 'a Dillas
Digital burgers are nothing but processed meat.
"Cabernet. More like, caber-yay!"
Q: What happens when two oranges collide?
A: They get en-tang-led!
The least favorite day for an orange is a juice day.
Soft fruit is not always the best at doing research. They aren’t very thorough; they tend to cherry pick information.
How do you catch King Kong? Hang upside down and make a noise like a banana.
How do you describe a polite german lemon?
Bitte(r)
I had a goat’s cheese pizza the other day.
He wasn’t happy.
Why did the birthday cake go to the doctor? Because it was feeling crumby!
What did the pickle say to the lemon?
I relish our time together
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