We had made everything for the party and the groom came in, did a quick assessment and didn’t seem amused. “Orange you glad we did this?” we asked him.
What happened when rockers couldn't get their favorite dessert? Rage against the Broken Ice Cream Machine.
Did you hear about the frozen dessert whose wife had a baby?
Now he’s a popsicle.
A turkey's favorite dessert is a strawberry gobbler.
What do you get when you cross a pig and a chicken? The best bacon-and-eggs of your life.
Did you get a side of hummus?
It's a hummuside.
The two slices of bread decided to leave the bakery. I heard that they wanted to grow mold together.
What did the pineapple say to the pineapple chunk? Stay golden.
Potatoes have skin. I have skin. Ergo, I am a potato
What did the therapist say to the pineapple? Look on the bright side.
You may want to seek help if you feel despresso when you don't have coffee.
A man went to his psychiatrist and complained that every time he drink coffee, he would get a stabbing pain in his right eye.
The psychiatrist said, “Well, have you tried taking the spoon out?”
My mom is really soup-rised at the outcome when she puts yeast in the broth.
What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Nacho Cheese!
What did the steak say to his girlfriend? You're the apple of my rib-eye!
If you bake an oatmeal raisin cookie at a temperature of 666 degrees, what do you call it? Raisin hell!
Why shouldn't you be too inquisitive with a cherry? Ask no questions tell no pies.
What is a monster's favorite food? Ghoul scout cookies.
What do you call super expensive shoes?
Cashews.
What do donuts wear to weddings? Tuxe-doughs!
How does the recipe for German Sauerbraten begin? "First invade ze kitchen."
Why was the baker in a serious panic? He thought that he was in a loaf or death situation.
Mandy: Our teacher went on a special banana diet. Andy: Did she lose weight? Mandy: No, but she sure could climb trees well!
What was the Peach's favorite surf band from the 60's? The Peach Boys.
"I'm not a wino. I'm a wineYES!"
"Sip, sip hooray."
The cookie monster couldn’t make his bed, why? Because he couldn’t find his cookie sheets.
We’re a perfect mash.
Why did the aging bread roll retire?
Her career was already toast.
What would a pineapple say to a pineapple pie? You have some crust.
What do politicans need to drink? Honest-Tea.
Why didn't the corn chip advocate wear shoes?
They believed in Fritos.
When shouldn't you drink a hot beverage? If it's not your cup of tea.
Do you know how the pineapple feeds her children? She gives them milk from her pinenipples!
Did you hear that they're trying to convict an orange?
It got wrapped up in appeal.
What do you call someone who’s crazy about corn?
A corn-ivore!
"It's wine o'clock."
What is a cowboy’s favorite tree?
A horse chestnut tree.
What did the steak say to his enemy? I have a T-bone to pick with you!
Have you seen that film about the onion that turns into a spider?
It's called Shallot's Web
What kind of keys does a kid skeleton use on Halloween? Cook-keys.
Why was the burger sad? Because he had the blue cheese.
I had a meal recently that was made with ketchup and mustard.
It was delicious! My condiments to the chef!
You don't know jack-o-lantern
There was a bull in the neighborhood who would always vandalize my farm. Guess it was because I harvested Spanish onions.
Thank you for helping me. Biscuit’s the yeast I could do.
How do you know when a potato is in a bad mood? When they are acting salty
Nobody wants to sit next to the watermelon in the class because it has a strange smelon.
How do berries start off the fruity olympics? They cherry the Olympic torch around the globe.
If you are wondering about a peach's favorite game, it's peach ball.
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