What do you call a pastry that is a priest?
A Holy Donut!
Can I have your last avocado?
Avocadon’t you dare.
What is a potato’s favorite baseball team? The New York Yamkees
I yam rooting for you my sweet potato and I won't mash your heart
What do you find when you swallow peas whole?
Inner peas
I don't know what happened, but the moment I brought the onion into the kitchen, everything got rejuvenated, and everything started feeling fresh! Guess this really is a spring onion.
Why did the man lose his job in a fruit packing firm? He kept throwing the bent bananas away.
My wife told my four year old daughter that she couldn’t use her plastic IKEA knife to slice mangos.
I said “Yeah kid, that’s just not going to cut it.”
Why did the cheese lover hide cheese in the back of his fridge?
In queso emergency.
My wife misplace the sugar with the salt in her sugar cookies.
It was sodium disgusting.
Me and my sister used to be like peas in a pod, but recently she's become too snap-pea.
Every girl is just like a pineapple: They both have many pointy defences, but they are still sweet and adorable.
The other day I asked an Alaskan guy if he wanted to eat some seal meat.
He wasn’t really inuit
What is a cheese lover’s favorite rap artist?
Feta wap.
What do you call a potato at a football game? A spec-tater.
Why couldn't the teddy bear finish his dessert? Cause he was stuffed.
You know why I love bread puns? Because they never go stale.
My wife asked if I'd be available to drain some vegetables next week.
I said I'd check my colander.
Why was the meat packer arrested? For bringing home the bacon.
Q: Who is Peach’s favorite actor?
A: Brad Pit.
Where’s a donut’s favorite vacation spot?
The Sahara dessert!
How do you say “four avocados” in Spanish?
Um, avo-cuatro?
What do you call someone who steals from the keebler elves? A crook-ie
What did the cheese call himself after he got dumped?
Forever provolone.
When everyone agreed with Hulk at breakfast that they love waffles more, he said, "Not all heroes wear crepes."
just bought 5 slabs of San miguel, 10 sombreros and 25 tacos,
I'm Hispanic buying
What do you call a chicken with a piece of lettuce in its eye? CHICKEN CAESER SALAD.
When the peach pit farewell to his friend, he said, "See you later, peach out".
What did the piece of Cheddar say to the ghost? I'm Lac-ghost intolerant
What do we call the period in between eating a peach? – It is called a pit stop.
When does Oliver Stone eat ice cream? Any Given Sundae.
What is a dessert called with an extra chromosome?
A chocolate downie.
What happened after the conifer fell in love at the orchard? A pineapple tree.
What do chemists make guacamole out of?
Avogadros.
What is a ghost pirate’s favorite kind of tea?
Boo tea!
I love having dinner in a local restaurant. It has a soup-erb speciality that mixes soup and herbs.
What became of the pig who got fired from his job? He became canned ham.
Q: Why was the cherry by himself?
A: Because the banana split.
My mom likes to feed everyone the soup she makes. She said it is her broth right.
Why was the birthday cake as hard as a rock? Because it was marble cake!
Potatoes that are medi-tators maintain calm and peace even when uprooted.
How did the egg get up the hill?
It scrambled up.
What type of window do donuts prefer in their homes?
Double glazed.
Why did the worker get fired from the orange juice factory?
“Lack of concentration.”
Why is the strawberry loved dearly by everyone? Because it is berry sweet.
Did you hear about the guy who forgot to use the colander when making mac and cheese?
His wife gave him a restraining order.
If you are wondering about the fuzziest character in the gaming world, well it is definitely Princess Peach.
What do you call a serial killer watermelon? A slaughter melon.
Why did the cheese get in trouble?
It was up to no gouda.
Why is the baby strawberry crying?
Because its parents are jamming
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