What is John Lennon's favorite donut? Strawberry' Filled Forever.'
My mother says: “Leave that peach cobbler alone on the table!” However, I cannot help myself and sneak in to watch it making beautiful peach shoes.
Why does cheese look normal? Because everyone else on the plate is crackers.
A lemon got a job in a vinegar factory last week...
Starting salary was $15 per sour.
Why doesn’t the squirrel accept cash or credit at his store? Because it only accepts cash.
What does a loaf of bread say when breaking up with his girlfriend?
You deserve butter.
Why did the coffee call the police? Because it was mugged.
Strawberries are great musicians because they make perfect jam sessions.
Some very good advice strawberries give to their children is to respect their elder-berries.
The peach started acting all funny because it was really fuzzy.
My friend thought ketchup didn’t exist
So I told him to check his sauces.
No one understands me when i say I like to paint peas in a cage.
I don’t what is so hard about it. I’m a trapped peas artist.
How do you know when a cheese is full of himself?
Whatever you say, he’ll say he is feta.
What cheese should you use to hide a horse? Mascarpone.
Salami get this straight - you don't like meat puns?!
Did you hear what happened to the cheese after its breakup?
It got provolonely.
I asked the pianist if he could play the Chick Pea Song.
He said, "Maybe. Can you hummus a few bars?'
What is Bruce Lee’s favourite fruit? Wataaaaar melooooon?
Why did the lettuce stop dating the mushroom?
He though she was a pretty fungal, but didn't have mushroom on its schedule.
What kind of eggs does a confused chicken lay?
Scrambled eggs.
What do you call seasoned and dried robot meat?
Beep chirpy
What kind of nuts come in cans?
Creamed a-corn.
A strawberry who is a thief is called a rob-berry
Where were the first orange trees planted?
“In Orange County.”
In Australia, they have a scary lemon dessert that keeps coming back.
They call it Boo-Meringue.
Why did the teapot get in trouble? Because he was Naught-Tea.
What made the baby cookie cry so loud? His mother was a wafer so long.
What does a mommy cherry say to her children? I love you cherry much.
"Everything happens for a riesling, right?"
What did Yoda say when he turned a patron away for ordering a pie?
“Dough. Or doughnut. There is no pie.”
I can’t help but laugh a little when I see a pun about chocolate bars… snickers
What do you call a sausage that's been to the doctor? Cured meat!
Police arrested a man who dropped his phone in the ocean. The was charged with a salt in battery.
I once saw an onion that had been preserved for ages. It was an Egyptian onion.
People really liked the new king's coronation day peach. He truly deserves the throne.
What’s a calendars favorite fruit?
Dates.
What did the Mexican wrestler say after he ate a taco that was too spicy?
“It’s okay, I’ll just guac it off”
What is an elf's favorite kind of birthday cake? Shortcake!
What was the ice cream cone’s naughty pick up line?
Wanna lick me?
The United Nations gave its members a basket of peaches on 21 September - the International Peach Day.
A pine and an apple talk to a pineapple “Poor you, my friend! You are certainly adopted, dude.”
Vegans really have a beef with meat.
How do monkeys get down the stairs? They slide down the banana-ster!
What did the coffee say to its date? Hey there, hot stuff.
What do cloves use for money? Garlic "Bread."
This pizza party is the perfect topping to a great summer.
Do you know why a pineapple can be a good observer? Because it has a lot of eyes around its body.
Why is the pickle container always open?
Because it's ajar.
Made the mistake of offering my realtor some lipton iced tea
I forgot that he only drinks realty.
When the egg saw the pan, it was terri-fried.
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