What is a DJs favorite vegetable?
A turnip.
What kind of a key opens a banana? A monkey!
Why don’t these children eat their soup? Because all of them is stew-pid.
“My bowl of soup must be cracked as it is all wet down here”. “Well, I guess it is because your soup has a leek in it.
A crayon that looks like a strawberry is usually called a cranberry.
Are you a taco?
Cause you sure taco lot
Where should you call if you find a bad cheese shop?
The feta business bureau.
Bad vegetable puns are dreadful.
It’s a truly rotten experience.
You have two cows, but only milk one. Your friend asks you…
"What about the udder one?"
What do you call a barking pumpkin?
A gourd dog.
My wife won't let me become a bean farmer. Why won't she just let me work in peas!
"My day just went from super to sip-erb, real quick."
I fed my wife some ground chick peas and she choked to death
The police are treating it as a hummuside.
"No wine left behind."
What do you calla watermelon that just won’t stop committing crimes? A watefelon.
What did one Jack-o-lantern say to the other? Cut it out!
I had no clue how much lettuce to buy, so I called my wife from the grocery store.
Turns out two heads are better than one.
Why did the parmesan swipe left on the cheddar?
His pick-up line was too cheesey.
Which is the Richest Cheese in the world? Paris Stilton.
I’m a wrapper, so I get a lot of dough. A bread wrapper, that is.
What do you call a sheep covered in chocolate?
A candy baa.
The apple says to the pineapple “What? Go out with you tonight? It will not happen in a million years!” Since then, we have a crushed pineapple.
What do you do with epileptic lettuce? You make a seizure salad!
"Sip happens."
Why couldn’t the orange dance in the talent show without his partner?
Because it takes two to “tang-o.”
Why couldnt the pumpkin have kids?
He had a halloweener.
What do you call a potato that has turned to the dark side? Vader tots!
What did the hot dog bun say to the hot dog? Stop touching my buns!
What do you get when your dog jumps into the fire pit? A hot dog.
During the summer break, I enrolled myself in a peach coding course.
What did you just call me? Just because we’re Dark Chocolate does not give you the right to call us “Snickers”.That’s OUR word.
Where does a pineapple and cucumber vacation? Somewhere tropical (tro-pickle).
Hundreds of chickpeas were found dead the other day. The police say it's a hummuside.
What do you call solid gold bananas? A bunch of money.
My wife asked if I'd be available to drain some vegetables next week.
I said I'd check my colander.
My Dad told me why Busch is the only brand of beer he ever drinks.
"It's the only beer that says it's name when you open it."
On Valentine's Day, the peach said to his wife, "You will always have a peach of my heart!"
How does lettuce listen to music?
Headphones.
What did the mom cheese tell the little boy cheese when he got hurt on his bike?
“Gotta take the gouda with the bad.”
Why are burgers bad at telling jokes? Because they all are cheesy.
Why did the orange go out with a prune? He couldn’t find a date.
What's so special about twitter alphabet soup? It only has 140 letters.
What do you call a cute donut?
A-dough-able.
How can you tell if you are in love?
If they stole a pizza your heart.
Why doesn’t anyone like to hang out with crackers?
Someone always cuts the cheese.
"Adulting makes me wine."
My friend thought ketchup didn’t exist
So I told him to check his sauces.
Did you know, you can actually hide a gigantic elephant in a cherry tree? All you need to do is paint its toenails red. I bet you don’t believe me – but have you ever seen an elephant in a cherry tree? I rest my case.
Why did the banana go to the hairdressers? Because it had split ends!
Police arrested a man who dropped his phone in the ocean. The was charged with a salt in battery.
Go to BabaMail
