Most of the fruits usually drink their juice with a straw-berry.
What does a surprised pumpkin say?
OH MY GOURD!
Why should you avoid discussing coffee around sensitive people?
It can lead to a really heated, strong debate.
A cow usually prefers to eat moo-sli for breakfast.
Why are bananas never lonely?
Because they hang around in bunches.
I once saw an onion that had been preserved for ages. It was an Egyptian onion.
What do you call a Vegetarian with diarrhea? A Salad Shooter.
What do you call a cow who’s just given birth?
De-calf-inated!
What do you get when you dip a kitten in chocolate?
A Kitty Kat bar.
Let's pumpkin spice things up a bit
What do you call a strawberry in math?
A berry-able.
One day, tamarind, curry and ice were crossing the road. All of a sudden they heard a gunshot. Then, tamabrind ball, curry duck and ice-cream!
What do you call leftover lettuce?
The romaines.
I figured out a way to chop onions without crying...
The trick is avoiding getting emotionally attached to the onion.
Q: What made the green pea turn red?
A: It saw the salad dressing.
What did the insulted orange say to the kiwi? Ex-squeeze-me?
What do sophisticated fish drink? Salt-Tea.
What do you say to an avocado who’s done a good job?
“Bravocado!”
I was making a salad the other day, and I thought I heard a small red vegetable that was a bit like an onion whispering. Must have been a hoarse radish.
How do astronauts eat their ice cream? In floats!
Q: Did you hear about the cherry that liked to explode?
A: It was da’ bomb.
Why is the corn army so dysfunctional?
Cause there are too many Kernels.
What candy is only for girls? HER-SHEy's Kisses!
You knead me in your loaf.
My friend thought ketchup didn’t exist
So I told him to check his sauces.
How did Reese eat her soup? Witherspoon.
Why does the yogi meditate under the citrus tree?
Because it’s a sub-lime spot.
If tomatoes are a fruit
Then ketchup is a smoothie.
Did you hear about the farm dog who liked to strip ears of corn?
He was part husky!
How can we tell the difference between a can of beef soup and a can of pork soup? Just read the labels.
What’s an apple’s favorite restaurant? Applebee’s.
What do you call an everyday potato? A commentater!
What do you call a group of cows that are on top of a hill? High steaks.
What do you get when you drink milk
A moostache
What happened when the butcher backed up into the meat grinder? He got a little behind in his work!
What do you call a depressed vegetable
Despairagus.
They say that the local baker is the breadwinner of his family. True enough.
Why is pumpkin pie so much better than sweet potato pie?
Sweet potatoes are ungourdly.
How did Henry VIII like his coffee? Decap.
What do athletes drink before games? Sport-Tea.
What do you call it when a taco stands in your way ?
An obs-taco
I am soup-er into the beautiful girl that I met yesterday at school.
What drink breaks the ice? Flirt-Tea. How does Moses make his tea? Hebrews it.
My wife looked at me and said “You think you’re pretty sharp, don’t you?”
What is a pirate’s favorite cheese?
Ched-arrrrgh!
What do you call an apple that's been around the world? Johnny Appleseed.
What do you get when you throw lettuce into the ocean?
I don't know lettuce sea.
I work in security, and i want to get a pumpkin for my desk
It shall be a security gourd.
Mr. Pea never did any work and yet always looked down on the other vegetables. He was a real peas of work.
What happened when the onion tried to cross the bridge guarded by Gandalf? Gandalf shouted, "You shallot pass this bridge!"
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