I don’t wanna taco ‘bout it
A friend asked what an acorn is. I said, “In a nutshell, it’s an oak tree.”
What do you get when you divide the circumference of a watermelon by it’s diameter? Watermelon PI.
Did you know dried fruits favorite news segments is...
Current events.
What is a dessert called with an extra chromosome?
A chocolate downie.
Why did Eve bite the forbidden apple? Because it tasted better than Adam's banana.
Why couldn’t the cheese sleep?
He was scared there was a munster under the bed.
What do leprechauns love to barbecue? Short ribs!
How do you kill a salad? You go for the carrot-id artery.
What would a pineapple say to a pineapple pie? You have some crust.
What did the priest say before he and his family ate their salad?
Lettuce pray.
It’s common for people with heartbreaks to crumble.
What do you call a rapper working at Cold Stone? Scoop Dogg.
Did you see the movie about the hot dog? It was an Oscar Wiener.
What did the cheese say after escaping the mouse? I'm Brieeee!
I don’t want naan of that. Neither do I!
Why was the bread actor so unhappy?
She lost out on a juicy roll.
Why did the banana go to the hostpital? Because it wasnt peeling very well
What do you call a cake that likes heavy metal?
Megadeath by Chocolate.
I want an almond flavoured biscuit. Amaretti? You bet I am.
Why didn’t the mother potato want her daughter to marry the famous newscaster? Because he was a common-tater.
I eat a ton of corn everyday.
I guess that makes me a cornivore.
"Back that glass up."
You knead me in your loaf.
“Mom, what do we have for this dinner?” – “I cannot tell you. It is a little soup-prise, son!”
What did the mother bread tell her baby roll? You really are the apple of my rye.
What’s the only fruit that never gets lonely?
A pear.
What do you call a strong pumpkin?
A Jacked-o-Lantern.
If your doctor tells you to go on a low sodium diet, do you take his advise with a grain of salt?
What did Shakespeare say as he was making a cheese plate?
To brie or not to brie.
I saw a pun on chocolate bars but it wasn’t that fun
So I just snickered.
Basketball players always drop cookies into their milk.
That way, it's a slam dunk.
What do you call two male avocados who hang out and drink together?
Avocabros.
Nearly got knocked off of my bike by a council salt lorry.
You idiot, I shouted. Through gritted teeth.
What kind of chocolate do they sell at the airport? Plane Chocolate!
What is the executioner’s favorite vegetable?
A head of lettuce.
How many tacos can an octopus eat?
Ten tacos.
Q: How do two cherries make up after an argument?
A: They cherry the hatchet.
Why did the banana go to see the doctor? The banana was not peeling very well.
Never tell a taco a secret
It will spill the beans
Went to the doctor because I got a strawberry stuck in my ear
He gave me some cream for it
What did the hot dog bun say to the hot dog? Stop touching my buns!
I thought about making a new condiment that was a mixture of Ketchup and Mustard.
But then I decided the name KetchTard would be pretty MustUp.
Why did the egg go to school?
To get egg-ucated.
No one understands me when i say I like to paint peas in a cage.
I don’t what is so hard about it. I’m a trapped peas artist.
Why did the orange go to the doctor? He wasn’t peeling well.
What do you call an onion monk who is present everywhere? Ommnion!
"Is that a yay or cabernet?"
I caught the chef sticking his hand in the cooking pot. He looked at me and said...
"I was just feeling a little chili."
Which nut has won the World Cup the most times?
A Brazil nut.
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