Did you hear about the butcher who sat on his bacon slicer?
He got a little behind in his deliveries.
A bowl of salad went to church
Lettuce pray.
This is a taco and burrito conversation.
Nachos.
What do you call super expensive shoes?
Cashews.
If you can't beat them...
Just have your eggs fried.
How does Moses make coffee?
Hebrews it.
Q: Why wouldn’t the teacher bring the class to the green pea farm?
A: It was in a seedy part of town.
The young woman decided to become a professional baker. She realized that it could help her earn her bread and butter.
Why didn't the kids eat their soup? Because they're stew peed.
I almost got a world record for having the most peas up my nose but sadly I blew it.
I got a pear stuck in my toilet. All I needed to do was flush and it was gone.
Because a flush always beats a pair.
I went to my fridge to get some lettuce for my salad
But there was none Romaine-ing.
Why shouldn't you buy illegal seasonings? It's always a shady dill.
What do you call a sad cup of coffee? A depresso.
It’s not often that you find an eye anywhere but on the face. Cows, however, have a rib eye.”
Why did the baker quit making donuts?
Because he was fed up with the hole business!
What do you call an island populated entirely by cupcakes?
Desserted
When the orange started peeling, he was glad it was finally cutting some weight.
What do we get when we cross a Christmas tree with an apple? We will have a pine – apple!
Why do wine lovers guzzle down vine humor?
Because wine jokes are a barrel of laughs.
Why did no one drink the youngest milk? Its parents spoiled it.
What is the name of the dancing chocolate bar?
Nestle Crunk bar.
The student asked the teacher, “Cashew a question?”, and the teacher replied, “Nut now”.
"I just want some peach and quiet!," said the orange.
What's green and pecks on trees?
Woody Wood Pickle.
How can you tell the difference between a monster and a banana? Try picking it up. If you can't, it's either a monster or a giant banana.
My father loves eating reams of soup. That is the reason why I think he should be nominated to the Soup – ream – court!
What did the expired milk say after being picked up way past its due date? It was well beyond their wildest creams.
You are the best, I feel so peachy when I am with you!
Why did the farmer buy a brown cow?
He wanted chocolate milk.
Q: What’s a donut’s favorite drink?
A: Hole-y water!
Is beef soup good for our health? Not if you are the cow.
The cookie monster couldn’t make his bed, why? Because he couldn’t find his cookie sheets.
What did the tortilla chip say to the avocado?
“Well, this is guacward.”
I can't stand Greek salads.
I like un-feta'd access to my greens.
What do you call a potato that smokes weed? A baked potato.
I loved the soup that they served at the local restaurant yesterday. It was simply pho-nomenol.
What should you do with an old inventory of fine French wine?
Liquidate it to the highest bidder.
Why did the pig go into the kitchen? He felt like bacon.
What did the pineapple say to the pineapple chunk? Stay golden.
Did you hear about the cow that committed murder? It was in cow-ld blood! How dairy.
Everybody romaine calm.
What do you call a chicken with a piece of lettuce in its eye? CHICKEN CAESER SALAD.
I have an addiction to cheddar cheese.
But it's only mild.
I have a beer snob friend with Photophobia. He hates natural light.
When she spotted fake ramen in her soup, she said, “ This soup has impasta in it.”
Why do farmers make terrible comedians?
Their jokes are corny!
Q: What would a peach love to pet?
A: A Pit Bull.
What do you call an onion who wants to go on romantic dates in Paris? A French onion.
Wine Lovers Rhyme: A friend of wine is a friend of mine!
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