My friend accidentally got salt in his papercut.
Talk about adding insalt to injury.
Why did the daddy peach teach the child peach to shave? He was starting to grow peach fuzz.
Don't be a jerk-o-lantern
I took the recent snow warnings with a pinch of salt.
What did the health-nut say to himself at the gym? “No pine, no gain”
Don’t ask me why I love wine. I have my rieslings.
One day a apple saw a banana without its peel. The apple asked banana, where is your peel? He replied, people are always taking off my clothes.
Why shouldn’t you go into business with a watermelon?
“They’re seedy.”
Cow's that eat strawberries give strawberry milk.
In my friend's house, I saw an onion ring. So, I picked it up and answered it.
Why did the man keep punching his doughy friend?
To get a rise out of him!
Do you want to try my soup? I have enough for broth of us!
What do you call a fat kid who likes chocolate milk?
An OvalTeen
Why was the birthday cake as hard as a rock? Because it was marble cake!
I was very surprised to hear those insane rapping skills from my green onions. It had lived up to its name of rapscallion.
"Sip happens."
The daddy strawberry got the job to perform at the circus because he was a berry straw-ng man.
What did the boy say when his mom made him prepare the corn for supper?
This shucks!
One day, a young weasel went to the bar. The bartender took one look at him and says, “You are under-aged. I can’t serve you beer.” The weasel asks, “What can I have?”
The bartender replies, “I have bottled water, juice, energy drinks, and pop.”
“Pop!” goes the weasel.
My love for you sprouts more and more everyday!
The fruit stutters because it suffers from a peach impediment.
Why are burgers bad at telling jokes? Because they all are cheesy.
John, you have so much po(tato)tential!
What's green and got two wheels?
A motorpickle.
Why doesn't Daniel Tosh eat Hot Dogs? He can't find the zipper
Where do Russians get all of their milk from? Mos-cow!
Why did the butchers meating end soon? Because one of them started beef.
All potato puns are pomme de terrible.
Forget about watermelons, I heard having a windmelon your property is the best way to get clean and renewable electricity.
Why did the cheese lover hide cheese in the back of his fridge?
In queso emergency.
What was the Peach's favorite surf band from the 60's? The Peach Boys.
There was a bull in the neighborhood who would always vandalize my farm. Guess it was because I harvested Spanish onions.
You can only know the heart of a pineapple with a knife.
Why is corn popular around Halloween?
Because it’s so earie.
"I need to re-wine my life."
Why does cheese look normal? Because everyone else on the plate is crackers.
The kindergarten kids were taught the alphabet and peach sounds at school.
What happened after an explosion at a French cheese factory? All that was left was de brie.
You know why I love bread puns? Because they never go stale.
What did the cherry say when it won its third Olympic gold medal? That's just the cherry on top of a successful career.
What do you call a Vegetarian with diarrhea? A Salad Shooter.
Did you know there’s an app for corn growers?
It’s made in Sili-corn Valley!
“Spring, salad, shallot, picked”, said a friend. He knows his onions.
Why do watermelons have fancy weddings? Because they cantaloupe.
Did you hear about the corn stalk that changed careers?
He went into a different field!
"Are you sure about this?"
"Crust me, I'm on a roll."
Why are men like coffee? The best ones are rich, hot, and can keep you up all night!
The only fruit that makes me feel fuzzy and warm is a peach.
What is a French cat's favorite dessert? Chocolate mousse!
Did you hear about the lowest grade of steak? It's where the rubber meats the road.
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