What do you call the onions which are small and yellow and very naughty? You call it a minonion!
What does a lady in a mall do with a cheesey credit card? Go on a shopping brie.
A turkey's favorite dessert is a strawberry gobbler.
Went to a German restaurant. The beer was fine,
But their sausage was the wurst!
Why did the Jack-O-Lantern go to the pumpkin patch?
Because he had holes in him.
What was the ice cream cone’s naughty pick up line?
Wanna lick me?
What's a pickle's favorite book?
To Dill A Mockingbird.
Everyone needs to eat bread because loaf is what makes the world go round. Loaf truly is.
What group of cheese has been known to fly? Curds of prey!
I put some salt on my mobile. Now it’s a saxaphone.
It’s time to think outside the pizza box.
Have you ever tried pineapple milk? Do you know where it comes from? Obviously from the pine – nipples!
Did you hear about the sea captain who made a special salt-proof boat for the salty waters of the ocean?
It was a sailing solution to cross a saline solution.
What did the perverted pumpkin use for his pick-up line?
Hey gourd-geous! Wanna go back to my place and squash?
Inviting cherries over for a drinks party is easy. Simply start your invitation with “You are cordially invited…”
What's an astronaut's favorite meat? Launch meat!
I felt like telling you the joke about a strawberry jam on a piece of bread, but I won't. You might go around spreading it.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Peanut.
Peanut who?
Peanut butter open the door!
Pigs, when out in public, have to keep an eye on their valuables as they are vulnerable to pigpockets.
Why did Eve want to leave the garden of Eden and move to New York ? She fell for the Big Apple !
What do you get when it rains potatoes? Spuddles.
I do some of my best thinking over coffee. I tend to have a latte on my mind.
Why couldn’t the teddy bear finish his dessert?
Cause he was stuffed.
What did the coffee addict say to his doctor?
I don’t have a problem with coffee. I have a problem without it!
How can you tell that a blondes been baking chocolate chip cookies? Theres M&M shells all over the floor.
Ugh.. I ate too much hummus..
And now I filafel.
At the bar mitzvah ceremony, the Jewish onion greeted his uncle by saying 'Shallot'.
My mum makes the best soups. She is a real soup-erstar.
What do you call a Vegetarian with diarrhea? A Salad Shooter.
Basketball players always drop cookies into their milk.
That way, it's a slam dunk.
It was the pie piper who had led the strawberries to the bakery.
Where did the milk write everything about her life? In her dairy.
Milk is the fastest drink on the planet. It's pasteurized before you even see it.
What sound does a nut make when it sneezes?
"Cashew."
Everyday for lunch I like to eat two pears, and my dad knows this.
One day I saw him dropping two pears into a bunch of brown paper bags.
“What are you doing?” I asked him.
“Preparing.”
One day, tamarind, curry and ice were crossing the road. All of a sudden they heard a gunshot. Then, tamabrind ball, curry duck and ice-cream!
What is the cherry fruit's favorite American talkshow? The Cherry Springer Show of course!
The guilty conscience of stealing and consuming a whole peach is getting to me. I feel like there's a pit in my gut.
What did the priest say before he and his family ate their salad?
Lettuce pray.
How do astronauts like to eat their ice cream?
Floats.
It’s too bad that bread puns are always so crumby. Mmm . . . crumbs.
Eggs are going up again.
That'll surprise a few chickens.
What do you call two pears?
A pair.
What is the only thing that can cure a sick do-nut?
An antidought!
Oh no! My wine glass is empty. Somebody call Wine-One-One!
Pirates used to make a delicious snack for themselves by crossing pate with flowers. They called it “lily livered”.
Why do pumpkins never quarrel? Because they have no stomach for fighting.
My father gave me a peach. I told him that I wanted a pear. So he gave me another peach.
What is soap's favorite brand of beer?
Sud-light
My banana grandad got in an accident last year, he bruised like a peach!
Go to BabaMail
