What is the opposite of Chocolate? Chocoearly.
When she asked me if I like soup, I replied saying "I am crazy pho soups".
Where did the nut keep his money?
In his cash shoe.
What's a cow's favorite moosical note? Beef-flat
I hear you like wine, too. Grape minds think alike.
Mom: *Struggling to make a decision between 1% or 2%.
Dad: Milk up your mind!
What do you call a stolen yam? A hot potato.
What's green and got two wheels?
A motorpickle.
What do you call a cake that likes heavy metal? Megadeth by Chocolate.
What is the name of the horse that a knight onion rides? They ride a scallion.
Mom, what do we have for dinner? I cannot tell you, son, it is a soup-rise! Is it soup? I soup-pose it would be.
"On cloud wine."
Why is pumpkin pie so much better than sweet potato pie?
Sweet potatoes are ungourdly.
What type of a computer does a horse like to eat? A Macintosh
What did the boy bacon say to the girl bacon? Girl, you're bacon my heart melt.
What excuse did the late watermelon give his boss? He said be there in 5 boss, I’m just rind the corner.
What does a worry wart drink? Safe-Tea.
Ladies, if he can't appreciate your fruit jokes, you need to let that mango.
How does bread woo a lover?
With lots of flours.
Dad fertilized the garden with corn starch.
The plot thickens.
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What do you call mountain climbing corn?
Mountain-ears.
Did you hear about the elusive skating watermelon thief? Not really, the only description they got was a Caucasian melon wheels.
How do you make dog bread?
Just use collie flour.
The nut said it was very pine-ful when its’ shell cracked.
What do fruits look for at a talent show? A berry that can really cherry a tune.
Subway - Lettuce know how we did.
On what radio station would you hear Bob Dill-on?
Vlasic rock.
What is ice cream’s favorite TV show?
Game of Cones.
Let's pumpkin spice things up a bit
When potato chips don’t sell fast enough, the maker knows it will soon be crunch time.
Why didn’t the pecan go to the ballet?
It was afraid of the nutcracker.
Did you know that milk is a very religious beverage? Most of them are pastor-ized.
Why was the sweet potato too shy to ask out the russet potato? Because he was a real spud.
What is the onion that laughs a lot and is small and white in color? It is a tickled onion.
What do chocolate, men, and coffee have in common?
They’re only good if they’re rich!
It’s common for people with heartbreaks to crumble.
Why is the chef so mean?
He beats the eggs.
What did the pear say to the other pear when they just got together?
It’s good to be a pair.
What do you call a pair of cornstalks that are best friends?
Ear buds!
Why couldn’t the cheese sleep?
He was scared there was a munster under the bed.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Orange.
Orange who?
Orange you going to open the door.
What are the four seasons?
Salt, Pepper, Sugar and Flour.
When you cross an orange and a bunny, you will end up with a pip squeak.
Vegans really have a beef with meat.
My sister thinks that she is so intelligent. She says onion is the only food which makes her cry. That is the reason why I threw a pineapple at her face.
I sat on some peas in the car. It was a bumpea ride.
My mom likes to feed everyone the soup she makes. She said it is her broth right.
"What do tofu and a dildo have in common?" "They are both meat substitutes!"
When does a hot dog have a close shave? At the barber-cue!
Who is the most powerful potato? Darth Tater.
What would a potato say to a peach? – “You have a nice pit!”
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