What does a cheese lover say when someone keeps messing around with them?
“You gouda brie kidding!”
What did one bread lover say to the other?
Before I break down and rye, I want you to know that I loaf you.
My peach friend shaved for the first time the other day, he looks like a nectarine!
What is the name of the dancing chocolate bar?
Nestle Crunk bar.
Me and my sister used to be like peas in a pod, but recently she's become too snap-pea.
What rhymes with orange?
No, it doesn’t.
What did the banana do when he saw a monkey? The banana split!
How did the cheese get such curly hair?
It got a permasan.
How did the Mother Banana spoil the Baby Banana? She left him out in the sun too long.
How sweet is only for girls?
Her-shey’s kisses.
Why did the watermelon go crazy?
“He lost his rind.”
Time fries when you’re having fun!
Why did the hot dog turn down a chance to star in a major motion picture? None of the rolls (roles) were good enough.
How do you spell banana? E, V, I, L. Do banana's drink coke or pepsi? Neither, they drink blood because they're evil.
Why did the citrus fruit join the military?
“Because it was a navel orange.”
What's the hardest tea to swallow?
Reality.
If tomatoes are a fruit
Then ketchup is a smoothie.
I recently bought my grandson a vegetable-themed pogo stick exclusively made from spring onions.
How do little avocados get what they want?
They spread it on thick.
Why was the meat packer arrested? For bringing home the bacon.
Why did Wonder Woman rescue the Wine?
Because that's what grape lady superheroes do!
What do you find if you hang from a cherry tree for hours and hours? You find that your arms get sore.
What do you call a pear with loose morals?
A prostifruit.
Lettuce stop these governmental leeks.
The United Nations gave its members a basket of peaches on 21 September - the International Peach Day.
My mom is really soup-rised at the outcome when she puts yeast in the broth.
What is the charge for beating someone with a bottle of olive oil and a can of chick peas ?
Attempted Hummus-ide.
Interesting fact: A nectarine can also be a peach if it does not have peach fuzz.
Why did the students eat their homework? Because the teacher said that it was a piece of cake.
How busy was the donuts day? It was jam packed!
An owner of a pizza shop has just been found dead covered with pineapple, ham, mushrooms, and pepperoni. Word is that he topped himself.
What is the suckiest fruit?
A strawberry.
What happened after the conifer fell in love at the orchard? A pineapple tree.
A cow usually prefers to eat moo-sli for breakfast.
Have you ever wondered if illiterate people would get the full effects of alphabet soup?
What is a DJs favorite vegetable?
A turnip.
I keep thinking I'll make breakfast pancakes, but I end up waffling.
How do you get a mouse to smile? Say cheese!
What kind of pizza do you order on Christmas?
Cheeses Crust.
my buddy’s sad after getting fired from taco bell, so being a caring friend i asked if he wanted to
taco bout it?
How do eggs get around?
On a s-egg-way.
Why did the Jack-O-Lantern go to the pumpkin patch?
Because he had holes in him.
Why don’t these children eat their soup? Because all of them is stew-pid.
When the peach pit farewell to his friend, he said, "See you later, peach out".
Q: Why did no one like peach’s personality?
A: Because it had a heart of stone.
What’s an apple’s favorite restaurant? Applebee’s.
What covers the floor of the motzarella forest?
Cheese sticks.
Why are apples afraid to grow in the United States? Because they don't want to be as American as apple pie.
I just finished the Mona Lisa made from vegetables. It's a masterpeas.
Why did the peach think he was a pear for a while? He was feeling awfully green at first, but eventually his face became red.
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