The hotdog severely fell behind in school which is why he has to ketchup.
Q: Why did peas jump out of an airplane?
A: They wanted to be air pods.
What’s the most disgusting type of nut?
The cash-ew.
I cut a dill with this spicy mami, but at the last minute she ginger mind.
What do we get when we cross a Christmas tree with an apple? We will have a pine – apple!
What does an onion say when you are upset because of it one day? It says, "I am sorry that I made you cry!"
Why did the daddy peach teach the child peach to shave? He was starting to grow peach fuzz.
My wife’s an abysmal cook.
She tried combining corned beef, onions and potatoes…
She made a right hash of it.
"Darling, shall we buy some vegetables for tonight?"
"Yes, lettuce!"
If you coriander into my tomato soup, you will give me a soup-herb dish.
What did the corn say when it was being followed?
“I’m being stalked!”
A cup of coffee is the ideal start to a brew-tiful morning!
Talking at the local chocolate factory is frowned on. When I’m there, I need to wispa.
What did the blind man say after being handed a cheese grater? "That's the most violent book I've ever read."
Pirates used to make a delicious snack for themselves by crossing pate with flowers. They called it “lily livered”.
The forecast said that we’re in for a hot summer; better make sure I watermelon everyday or else the yard will dry up.
Why do milking stools only have three legs? The cows keep the udder safe.
Why do sharks swim in salt water?
If they swam in pepper water they would sneeze.
What did the coffee addict say to his doctor?
I don’t have a problem with coffee. I have a problem without it!
Astronauts can't open milk bottles in space. 'In space, no one can. Here, use cream'.
The mother helped her child bake bread because it was a labor of loaf. True enough.
What is the best way to cook alligator meat? With a croc pot!
What do two cherries say when they get married? I promise to cherry-ish you forever.
What kind of tea did the American colonists want? Liberty.
Topside, silverside and brisket tend to groan when they get up from their chairs. This is because they are achey joints.
What is the chemical formula of the molecules in sweets? Carbon-holmium-cobalt-lanthanum-tellurium or CHoCoLaTe
Why did the strawberry get bruised? Because it was under pear pressure.
You used to call me on my cell-ery phone.
Q: Why did the cherry stop in the middle of the road?
A: It ran out of juice.
Why are candles lit on top of birthday cakes?
It’s impossible to light them on the bottom
When do they smother a burrito in cheese? In best queso scenario.
Why should you always bring a bag of tortilla chips to a party?
In queso emergency.
Have you ever wondered if illiterate people would get the full effects of alphabet soup?
Did you hear about the CEO that got fired at the dairy farm? He was skimming a little bit off the top.
I’ve got a great idea for an automatic orange peeling machine I hope it bares fruit.
What kind of milk do people drink in Mexico? Soy milk.
I tried to milk my cow last night, but nothing I did seemed to work. It was an udder failure.
"You are so bottlefull to me."
What is a ghosts favorite soup? Scream of Broccoli.
Why did the teapot get in trouble? Because he was Naught-Tea.
Where do vegetables keep their money?
In the credit onion.
Singular: One mango
Plural: Two menwent
Why didn’t the pecan go to the ballet?
It was afraid of the nutcracker.
Cherry pie will set you back 10 dollars in Antigua, but 15 in Barbados. Yes, those are the pie rates of the Caribbean.
"Stop and smell the rosé."
This Halloween I'm gourd out of my mind!
A thesaurus' favorite thing to eat for breakfast is a synonym roll.
What did the father cantaloupe say to his son?
“Watermelon! (Water-my-lawn)”
I saw a real rob-bbery today. It happened right before my berry eyes.
Why didn't the unripe strawberry got any cards and chocolates for Valentine's Day? Because it was really sour.
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