Soft fruit is not always the best at doing research. They aren’t very thorough; they tend to cherry pick information.
Which search engine is popular amongst mice? Ask Cheese.
What was the cheese’s strategy when it ran for president?
Make America grate again.
What do you call a steak hurtling through space? A meat-ior!
My Ex Girlfriend stole my Hummus.
I told that chick, peace
What do we call a scientist who specializes in pineapples? He might be called a pineappleologist!
Every December, I really like making an emulsion of egg yolks, melted butter and lemon juice.
So its guaranteed to be a Happy Hollandaise
The strawberry went out with the grape only because he couldn't find a date.
What did the pea dad say after a tiring day at work? "I'm desperate for some peas of mind."
What do you call a pig that can tell you about his ancestors? History in the bacon.
Where did the spinach go to have a few drinks? The Salad Bar!
My wife just started an all-fruit diet.
There was enough food to make a mango crazy.
How does the serial killer like his coffee?
How he likes his women—all ground up.
Which venue did all the vegetables choose to open their fighting club in? An onion ring!
Pumpkin Spice and Everything Nice
Why did the boy leave his chestnuts in the rain?
He wanted them rusted.
Why did the donut go to a therapist?
He felt empty inside.
What do you sing to cows on their birthdays?
Happy birthday to moo…
One day a apple saw a banana without its peel. The apple asked banana, where is your peel? He replied, people are always taking off my clothes.
Why is milk taller than you?
Because it's always pasteurize
Why did the orange’s musical number receive a bad review?
Because it wasn’t an “orange-inal.”
What do you call someone who eats too many eggs?
An egg-oholic.
What's green and got two wheels?
A motorpickle.
Did you see the movie about the hot dog? It was an Oscar Wiener
Why should you bake bacon on an asteroid on its way to Earth ?
It's meteor.
Tony, where do I even starch? I yam so happy we’re best spuds!
What do fruit wear when they go swimming? A one-peach bathing suit.
Q: What do you call a really violent fruit?
A: A peach breaker
When we spill soup on the comic book, we will get soup-erman.
“Waiter, will my pizza be long?”
“No sir, it will be round!”
If you want to wish a 'Merry Christmas' to a strawberry, just say, "Straw-berry Christmas!'"
What is the pineapple’s relationship status? Pineapply married.
The doctor advised I tried a milk bath. I asked if it needs to be pasteurized. No, just above the knees she replied.
"You're the wine that I want."
Why does the Pope love Swiss cheese so much?
It’s hole-y.
How did Henry VIII like his coffee? Decap.
Why did they put Viagra in chocolate bars? You eat it, She says, "Oh, Oh Henry!"
What candy is only for girls? HER-SHEy's Kisses!
I’m zesting a lemon for a recipe right now
It’s really appealing
Q: Why could the fruits not see anything?
A: It was peach black there.
I have to spill my guts, I love Halloween!
What did the Mexican heavy metal guitarist say to his bandmates?
“Rock out with your guac out.”
What happens after you eat an entire gallon of "All Natural" ice cream? You get Breyer's remorse!
Strawberries are only made in the strawberry plant.
What did one slice of bread say to the other before the race?
You’re toast!
What do they call Chris Christie in New Jersey? Cake Boss.
What does a real cheese freak say when they come to your door?
“I’d like to talk to you about Cheesus.”
What do two cherries say when they get married? I promise to cherry-ish you forever.
Who is the most powerful potato? Darth Tater.
What do dogs like to drink? Kit-Tea.
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