What type of keys does the gingerbread man unlock his door with? cook-keys!
What drink do you need to steal? Virgin-tea. Why do hipsters only drink iced tea? Because ice was water before it was cool.
Why did the cherry go to the good drinks factory? It was cordially invited.
What do u get from a perverted apple? Hard Cider.
How do astronauts eat their ice cream? In floats!
Why do wine lovers guzzle down vine humor?
Because wine jokes are a barrel of laughs.
All the contestants at the pig Olympics were very happy with their prizes. They each won pork medallions.
I've been feeling really down recently so I thought I'd cheer myself up by making a nice cheese and pickle sandwich.
But when I picked up the pickle jar, it said "reject if depressed", so now I'm off to take an overdose.
Why is peanut butter a bad secret keeper? Because it tends to spread it and not keep it.
What did the newspaper say to the ice cream? What's the scoop
What did the two onions who were lovers say to each other before being separated? "Our love will forever go-nion on!"
How does Bob Marley like his donuts?
Wi’ jam in.
What did the Cheese salesman say? That cheese may be Gouda, but this one is Feta!
There's no need to cherry your feelings, I know you love me really.
How did the roommate who stole the last avocado from the fruit bowl justify her thievery?
“I know it’s wrong, but it feels so ripe!”
She drank so much coffee at work, she considered it part of her daily grind.
Did you hear about the man who stole thousands of dollars worth of rare tea?
He went to prison for Oolong time.
What do you call an epileptic in a vegetable garden Seizure salad
What do you call a communist vegetable
a soviet onion.
Why did the blonde buy a brown cow? To get chocolate milk.
I squeezed the innards of a pumpkin into a glass, and the result was just beautiful
In fact, it was gourdjuice.
If you are ever babysitting a cherry, remember that their favorite cartoon is Tom And Cherry.
The manager at the bread store told the baker that he had to stop loafing around. The baker said that it was his job.
The student asked the teacher, “Cashew a question?”, and the teacher replied, “Nut now”.
What did the doughnut say to the pizza?
If I had as much dough as you, I wouldn’t be hanging around this hole.
There’s a suspicious email going around, with the subject line “Canned meat.” Don’t open it, it’s spam!
What do you see when the Pillsbury Doughboy bends over? Doughnuts!
Why did the squirrel ask for a pay raise?
He was paid peanuts.
Did you hear about the guy who opened up a store where they only sell Swiss cheese?
It’s a hole business strategy.
Which Oiler great had a soft spot for Indian food? Jari Curry.
Who answers the door at the nut house?
The peanut buttler.
What kind of chocolate do they sell at the airport? Plane Chocolate!
Thank you for helping me. Biscuit’s the yeast I could do.
Did you see the movie about the hot dog? It was an Oscar Wiener.
How do you get a squirrel to be your friend?
Act like a nut.
Potatoes that are medi-tators maintain calm and peace even when uprooted.
Don't be too harsh on the bread. All it kneads is love.
When you cross a train engine with a strawberry tart, you make a puff pastry.
What can a whole apple do that half an apple can't do? It can look round.
What is the perfect name for a sad strawberry? It is called a blueberry.
What kind of socks do you need to plant cayenne pepper? Garden hose!
Some very good advice strawberries give to their children is to respect their elder-berries.
Why was the orange feeling sad?
It lost its zest for life.
Why did the pineapple’s phone die? It needed juice.
I thought of a new joke that started in a corn field.
But I'm not going to post it bc it's too corny.
Which vegetable is the most qualified?
Qualiflower.
What do you give a dog with a fever?… Mustard, it’s the best thing for a hot dog.
If you are wondering about a peach's favorite video game, well it's definitely 'Super Princess Peach'.
In North Korea, you can not throw fruits in the snow as they don't have the right to freeze peach
What do you call seasoned and dried robot meat?
Beep chirpy
Go to BabaMail
