Why is green ice cream so serendipitous?
It was mint to be.
When I got mugged on my way back from the greengrocers, I was peach-less!
Where was the first donut cooked?
In Greece.
What do you call bacon with salt on it?
Salt and Peppa.
what does a female corn do when she likes a male corn?
she corn-fesses.
Did you hear about the orange boxer?
He got beaten to a pulp.
What do you call a beautiful pumpkin?
Gourdgeous.
Vine Thought of the Day: Choosy moms choose wine!
How can you tell that a blondes been baking chocolate chip cookies? Theres M&M shells all over the floor.
Did you hear what happened to the girl who twisted her ankle in the cow’s pen? She was milking her injury!
Why do we put candles on top of a birthday cake? Because it's too hard to put them on the bottom!
The soup that my mom made for dinner healed my flu in a day. It was almost soup-er natural.
When strawberries, blueberries or blackberries meet another berry they like and want to get married who do they go see?
The marionberry
What did the hot dog bun say to the hot dog? Stop touching my buns! What do you call a hot dog with nothing inside it? A "hollow-weenie!"
I’m a wrapper, so I get a lot of dough. A bread wrapper, that is.
What is a DJs favorite vegetable?
A turnip.
Why isn’t the tomato a vegetable?
It couldn’t catch up.
hat did the pizza slicer say when he wanted to rob the pizza?
“Hand over the dough or I’ll cut you!”
What's the most musical cut of chicken? The drumstick!
I am really broth-taking when I see the signer vomiting soup.
Be careful what you say in a corn maze. The walls have ears.
Did you hear about the watermelon who starred in a telanovella?
“It was melondramatic.”
I need to take this picture for my instayam
The Japanese restaurant serves the best soups. It will always make miso happy.
Why was Tony Soprano fat? Cause he thought getting a slice of the pie was a piece of cake.
What did the arrogant pickle say?
I'm kind of a big dill.
Q: Why could the fruits not see anything?
A: It was peach black there.
I had a meal recently that was made with ketchup and mustard.
It was delicious! My condiments to the chef!
If you coriander into my tomato soup, you will give me a soup-herb dish.
What did the banana say to the monkey? Nothing, bananas can't talk!
Why did the peach think he was a pear for a while? He was feeling awfully green at first, but eventually his face became red.
What do you call two banana skins?
A pair of slippers.
You can never make a crumble with just 3.14 strawberries because that would make a pi.
Tobacco companies have made an orange flavored cigarette. They call it “Nico-tang”
What does a cat like to eat on his birthday?
Mice cream and cake!
What did the peanut say right before taking an exam? “I walnut fail!”
What covers the floor of the motzarella forest?
Cheese sticks.
What is a monkey's favorite cookie? Chocolate chimp!
When she asked me if I like soup, I replied saying "I am crazy pho soups".
What vegetable is not allowed on ships? Leeks.
An apple and an orange signed up for a tournament. No one was really surprised when they had both were seeded.
Q: Who is Peach’s favorite actor?
A: Brad Pit.
I took the recent snow warnings with a pinch of salt.
If you are what you eat, does that mean all squirrels are nuts?
I just hear that the woman who lives next door and loves fruit died. I hope she would rest in peach.
Mandy: Our teacher went on a special banana diet. Andy: Did she lose weight? Mandy: No, but she sure could climb trees well!
How do you describe a polite german lemon?
Bitte(r)
What eats nuts and bolts?
A squirrel that’s running late.
Since her parents wanted to become wealthy fast, they ensured their daughter had an orange-d marriage.
Me and my sister used to be like peas in a pod, but recently she's become too snap-pea.
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