Happy Hour is at wine o’ clock
The soup that my mom made for dinner healed my flu in a day. It was almost soup-er natural.
If you eat too many cherries, you can sometimes end up with digestive issues. It really is the pits.
I tried telling a joke while drinking my juice for breakfast, but nobody got my punch line.
"Sip happens."
When shouldn't you drink a hot beverage? If it's not your cup of tea.
When is a birthday cake like a golf ball?
When it’s been sliced.
Q: What’s a donut’s favorite drink?
A: Hole-y water!
Many people have puns, but they will nut tella you.
Don't drink too much coffee after breakfast. You might face a latte problems.
Strawberries have berry good eyesight because they are packed with a lot of Vitamin See.
What did the mom cheese tell the little boy cheese when he got hurt on his bike?
“Gotta take the gouda with the bad.”
I always get pickle and chutney mixed up.
It makes me chuckle.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Orange.
Orange who?
Orange you going to open the door.
What did the guy at the party say when he realized there was nothing left to dip his tortilla chip in?
“I’ve hit guac bottom.”
I like fried chickpeas, but I shouldn't eat them. Every time I do I falafel.
"You are so bottlefull to me."
How do you get a mouse to smile?
Say cheese.
What would you call a steak that leaped off the table and ran away? Fast food, of course.
Why did the burglar break into the bakery?
Because he heard the cakes were rich.
During the battle between the two onion kings, one of them was on the back foot as it was leek-ing blood.
The best thing ever to put in a strawberry pie is your teeth.
The walnut got in trouble for pecan through the window.
I went to Taco Bell and order nacho fries
the person behind the counter wouldn't give them to me, just kept saying "nacho fries".
Hot dog, I love a good meat pun.
What did the duck eat for lunch? Soup and Quackers.
What's the only tea an Englishman can't stand?
Humidity.
For the last few Sundays, I have been receiving an onion pun in the mail. I don't know who is sending them. Guess it is onionymous.
What do you call it when 13 preschoolers have just had their juice?
A Daycare's Buzzin'.
Do you know what is the most favourite fruit in the United States? – Mmm peach!
What is ice cream’s favorite day of the week?
Sundae.
What do we get when we cross a pineapple and a pig? We have a porky – pine!
What do you get with surprise peas?
Wet legs
Why do cheeses make bad musicians?
They’re always sharp.
What do you call someone who steals from the keebler elves? A crook-ie
What does a cherry say when it delivers bad news? Don't fruit the messenger.
What does a cat like to eat on his birthday? Mice cream and cake!
What does bread say to a friend after doing them a favor?
It’s the yeast I could do.
It’s not often that you find an eye anywhere but on the face. Cows, however, have a rib eye.”
What activity should you do when you’re babysitting little cheeses?
Build a roquefort.
What am I? A tea bag you dirty minded human...
Cashier: Sir, would you like me to put your milk in a bag?
Dad: I would much rather keep it in the carton!
Why is it called Almond Milk?
Because no one would buy it if it was called Nut Juice.
The only type of cookies a cookie monster loves to eat during Halloween is Ghoul Scout Cookies.
How do you get a raise at the bread factory?
Butter up your boss.
My brother turned into a vegetable.
I guess now he has fryngers and potatoes.
A crayon that looks like a strawberry is usually called a cranberry.
What happened to the football team that practiced in a corn field?
They got creamed!
What do you get when you dip a kitten in chocolate? A Kitty Kat bar!
Mandy: Our teacher went on a special banana diet. Andy: Did she lose weight? Mandy: No, but she sure could climb trees well!
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