Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Orange.
Orange who?
Orange you going to open the door.
My mum makes the best soups. She is a real soup-erstar.
What do you get when you cross a cow and a duck? Milk and Quackers!
What is the name of the country near Iraq that is made entirely of cheese? Curd-istan
What do you call bananas that don't stick up for themselves? A bunch of pansies.
When a man went to the doctor to get rid of the strawberry that was growing out of his head, the doctor told him, "Don't worry. I'll give you some cream for that".
I earned money by selling broth. Now I am a bouillonaire.
“How was your day? ” “It was tater-ible”
Potato puns are a-peeling.
Why did the orange stop rolling down the hill? It ran out of juice.
What’s a balanced diet like?
A slice of cake in each hand!
What do you call an emotionally unstable peanut? Peanut brittle
Did you hear about the audio drama about peas?
It’s a pod-cast
I saw a joke about chocolate bars but it wasn’t that funny So I just snickered.
Why don't bananas snore? Because they don't want to wake up the rest of the bunch.
What do you call a baker with a cold?
Coughee cake.
Why do pigs go to New York City? To see the Big Apple.
How will the other onions remember the onion that died? It will be forever minced!
What did the egg say to the clown?
You crack me up.
After I helped a peach with some work, she said, "I really ap-peach-iate your help!"
Strawberries are the most bullied of the fruits.
They're always getting picked on.
I just got over my addiction to chocolate, marshmallows and nuts I won’t lie, it was a Rocky Road.
What do you call a chicken staring at a salad?
Chicken sees a salad.
Why did the blonde buy a brown cow? To get chocolate milk.
Why doesn't cheddar like to party with crackers? Someone always cuts the cheese.
Have you heard about the chocolate box thief? He’s always got a few Twix up his sleeve.
Did you hear about the policeman who tried to make love to a bacon slicer?
He had a tip off.
I mashed a few mangoes, pineapples, melons, strawberries, and grapes into a 🍲. Served the mash to guests visiting my place.
Called the dish, Mea Pulpa.
What do you give a dog with a fever? Mustard, it's the best thing for a hot dog.
The nectarine academic is doing a Ph.D. in 'Peach and Language Psychology' from the University of Georgia.
Why couldnt the pumpkin have kids?
He had a halloweener.
The pie-maker couldn't eat any more strawberries because she was already stuffed.
Why did the police arrest the milk after it was poured into a bowl of Fruit Loops? They witnessed him drown them. They knew he must be a cereal killer!
Was your guacamole salad good?
Yes, it was avocado this world.
What did the egg do when it saw the frying pan?
It scrambled.
What do you do when your partner drinks your coffee? I don't know, but that's certainly grounds for divorce.
What beer does everyone at the orphanage drink?
Foster's.
What are the best vegetables to sleep under?
a can of peas.
Why did the fruit run for president? He wanted world peach.
We had made everything for the party and the groom came in, did a quick assessment and didn’t seem amused. “Orange you glad we did this?” we asked him.
What is a vegetable's favourite part of the song?
When the beet drops!
Why did the hen lay her egg on the axe?
She wanted to hatchet.
Why can't the bankrupt cowboy complain? He's got no beef.
How did the hipster burn his tongue? He drank his coffee before it was cool.
What is the name of the dancing chocolate bar?
Nestle Crunk bar.
Despite the pun being so orange-inal, it wasn’t all that funny.
What’s the opposite of Himalayan salt?
Herastandin pepper.
Make no bones about it, home made stock is a really good base for soups.
Someone told me I looked like a salt shaker. I took it as a condiment.
Why does bread looks so bad in photographs?
It’s just too grainy.
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