What do you call a chicken staring at a salad?
Chicken sees a salad.
A truck with an entire load of strawberries has crashed on the motorway. It's caused a real traffic jam.
You know what they say about when life gives you melons?
You might be dyslexic.
Why do we put candles on top of a birthday cake? Because it's too hard to put them on the bottom!
So I asked Satan if he had any milk I could drink...
He told me "No whey in Hell!"
What do you call a potato wearing glasses? A spec-tater!
Which nut is worth the most?
A cash-ew.
I used to hate peas. I like them now, I just make sure I think of them as 'o's.'
What did the caffeine addict name his cats?
Cream and Sugar.
Why was the meat packer arrested? For bringing home the bacon.
What do you call a hobbit who has bad breath? He is known as Lord of Onion Rings!
How do you make Ohio State University cookies? Put them in a big Bowl and beat for 3 hours.
A farmer complained that he didn't have enough fruit to make a living.
I told him he needs to grow a pear.
I saw a joke about chocolate bars but it wasn’t that funny So I just snickered.
Have you heard of the new squirrel diet?
“It’s just nuts.”
During the summer break, I enrolled myself in a peach coding course.
I can't use my laptop anymore because someone spilled apple juice on it.
It was a cider attack.
What do you call it when Satan steals your guacamole?
Playing Devil’s Avocado.
What do you call a cow that has 2 legs? Side of beef
What do you call a sheep covered in chocolate?
A candy baa.
What's the difference between a head of lettuce and a unicorn?
One is a funny beast, and the other is a bunny feast!
Did you hear about the cheese factory that exploded? De-brie went everywhere!
I walked into the kitchen and saw my wife chopping onions which made me cry
Onions was a good dog
Nobody wants to sit next to the watermelon in the class because it has a strange smelon.
Did you know milk is the fastest liquid in existence? It’s pasteurized before you ever notice.
You have two cows, but only milk one. Your friend asks you…
"What about the udder one?"
What does a cheese say when you ask him to share a secret?
He cantal.
Which vegetable is most likely to be your friend?
The broccoli.
How does a pineapple answer the phone? “Yel-low?”
What do you call fake ramen noodles? An impasta.
What do you call a very feminine cow that likes to be in charge? The Dairy Queen.
If you leave alphabet soup on the stove and leave, it could spell disaster.
Why does everyone invite ice cream to the party?
It’s cool.
What does a worry wart drink? Safe-Tea.
Soft fruits make really supportive parents. Whenever their youngsters fail at something, they just smile and say “Have another bite at the cherry.”
My son's has never really had much of an appetite.
But suddenly today he's eaten a dozen Kinder eggs whole.
He's full of surprises.
Why did the parmesan swipe left on the cheddar?
His pick-up line was too cheesey.
In Australia, they have a scary lemon dessert that keeps coming back.
They call it Boo-Meringue.
What does the watermelon say to its girlfriend on Valentine’s Day? – “You are one in a melon!”
What did the nut say to his girlfriend at the pine-ic? “I am nuts about you, cashew see!”
When you finish the lemons that life gives you;
Sublime.
What do butchers say after they meet someone new? “Mince to meat you.”
Q: How do you make a blueberry?
A: You strangle a pea.
What happened to the football team that practiced in a corn field?
They got creamed!
I can’t remember who it’s by, but you could have “It Started With A Hershey’s Kiss”.
What did the salt say after it was pepper-sprayed?
That's nothing to sneeze at.
What's green and got two wheels?
A motorpickle.
The bag of flour was so confused.He thought that he saw his friend the loaf yeast-erday.
There's no need to cherry your feelings, I know you love me really.
What do they say when you leave the cheese store?
Have a gouda day!
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