What do you call the greatest cheese to every live on the earth? Legen-dairy!
"Here for the right riesling."
All the peanuts decided to start a social nutwork where they would all link up for a common good and even advocate for their rights.
Time fries when you’re having fun!
Q: Why wouldn’t the teacher bring the class to the green pea farm?
A: It was in a seedy part of town.
Why didn't the kids eat their soup? Because they're stew peed.
How much does a corn flake weigh?
1 Kelloggram.
Keep calm and carrot on.
Why did the hamburger dress up as a computer? Because he wanted to be a Big Mac.
Why do potatoes make good detectives? Because they keep their eyes peeled.
Which nut is the worst for your diet?
Donuts.
This foundation is rock salad.
When it comes to seasonal drinks, more and more are converting to the church of pumpkin spice,
but I choose to remain eggnogstic.
What do you call a cow with a twitch? Beef jerky!
What do you call an onion monk who is present everywhere? Ommnion!
Why did the pumpkin pie go to a dentist?
Because it needed a filling.
I was walking past the store today when I saw a sign saying, "All items one-third off."
So I bought a dozen eggs. Unfortunately four of them were rotten.
What's the difference between a Yankee Stadium hot dog and a Fenway Park hot dog? You can buy a Yankee Stadium hot dog in October.
The Paddington bears don’t eat lots of marmalade sandwiches because they are already stuffed.
Why is the chef so mean?
He beats the eggs.
What does a cow say to milk? I am your mother.
I got my paycheck with a lemon slice on it today...
turned out my ex-wife was garnishing my wages.
Why did the giant use clouds to make pancakes? To make them light and fluffy.
"Say you'll be wine."
"Are you sure about this?"
"Crust me, I'm on a roll."
It’s too bad the man couldn’t quit his job at the bakery. He really kneaded the dough.
Hundreds of chickpeas were found dead the other day. The police say it's a hummuside.
You don't know jack-o-lantern
What do peach soldiers say to each other before they are sent into combat? – “Good luck and make sure you come back in one peach!”
What’s the best part of a cow? The topside, of course.
After his meal, the cannibal wipes his mouth and says: “My wife cooks the greatest soup in the world. But I will miss her so much.”
How do you know it’s getting kind of serious with a cheese lover?
They tell you they are pretty fondue you.
If you eat too many cherries, you can sometimes end up with digestive issues. It really is the pits.
Did you hear about the guy who opened up a store where they only sell Swiss cheese?
It’s a hole business strategy.
when I smelled breakfast in the morning it was bacon me eggcited.
Q: Did you hear about the cherry that liked to explode?
A: It was da’ bomb.
My girlfriend spilt hummus all over her...
Can't believe that chick pea'd herself.
How do you keep bacon from curling in the pan?
You take away their little brooms
What do you call a steak hurtling through space? A meat-ior!
My mom is really soup-rised at the outcome when she puts yeast in the broth.
The unripe strawberry wasn't added to the starting lineup of the game because he was too green.
I have a friend who has been diagnosed with a phobia of sausages. She always fears the wurst.
Q: What do you get when you walk around with cherries in your shoes?
A: Toe jam.
The walnut got in trouble for pecan through the window.
When she asked me if I like soup, I replied saying "I am crazy pho soups".
What did the girl dinosaur ask her pet dog?
"Do you want some tea, Rex?"
What do chickens serve at birthday parties?
Coop-cakes!
When you finish the lemons that life gives you;
Sublime.
Was your guacamole salad good?
Yes, it was avocado this world.
My sister's trying to get famous. She'll never make it, she's just a wanna-pea.
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