While breaking up with Princess Peach, Mario said "You are so peachy, I can't take it anymore".
Why is green ice cream so serendipitous?
It was mint to be.
I didn’t know you could vape a chocolate bar until my wife told me to stop inhaling them.
Why will the fruits beat the vegetables?
They have a better punch!
I've just been to court accused of sniffing the skins of vegetables and fruits.
I got off on a peel.
I saw a joke about chocolate bars but it wasn’t that funny So I just snickered.
Excuse me waiter, I have a question about the house salad.
Does it come with window dressing?
What's a redneck's favorite beer?
An open one.
Q: Why did the fruit stop for some time while driving?
A: It wanted to make a quick pit-stop
Why was the ketchup feeling bad?
Because it had the squirts.
No one laughed at my milk jokes. They said they were too cheesy.
What is the similarity between my wallet and an onion? Whenever I open both of them, I cry.
What do you call a fruit that is rough around the edges? A bad apple.
Why did the pumpkin cross the road? It fell off the wagon!
Where do you put nectarines when you want to freeze them? Inside the peach-zer.
If my Hindu girlfriend thinks I'm going to eat Indian food, she has another think cumin.
Be careful! Theres a deadly fruit on the loose
He has 7 charges of armed Strawbbery.
Egg puns are the most egg-citing.
Why can't chefs play baseball? They always get caught trying to steal a basil.
John, you have so much po(tato)tential!
The price of candy at the movie theater is quite ridiculous. They're always raisinet!
One should always practice what they peach.
If you're in a food fight, always throw peas. We need to give peas a chance.
What did the doughnut say to the pizza?
If I had as much dough as you, I wouldn’t be hanging around this hole.
What is a monkey's favorite cookie? Chocolate chimp!
My wife told my four year old daughter that she couldn’t use her plastic IKEA knife to slice mangos.
I said “Yeah kid, that’s just not going to cut it.”
What do you call an overly cautious cup of tea?
Uncertaintea.
I switched labels in my wife's spice cabinet.
She hasn't noticed, but the thyme is cumin.
What do you call bacon with salt on it
Salt and Peppa
What does a real cheese freak say when they come to your door?
“I’d like to talk to you about Cheesus.”
What is an elf’s favorite kind of birthday cake?
Shortcake!
How does Moses make coffee?
Hebrews it.
Why did Wonder Woman rescue the Wine?
Because that's what grape lady superheroes do!
The only type of cookies a cookie monster loves to eat during Halloween is Ghoul Scout Cookies.
Who is the best kung fu vegetable?
Brocc lee.
Why did the banana go to the hairdressers? Because it had split ends!
Why don't potatoes go to parties?
They're scared of the Monster Mash.
Why was Tony Soprano fat? Cause he thought getting a slice of the pie was a piece of cake.
What does a cat like to eat on his birthday? Mice cream and cake!
What do you call a self-obsessed egg?
An eggomaniac.
What did the cheese call himself after he got dumped?
Forever provolone.
All potato puns are pomme de terrible.
Just found a fly in my beer. I'm feeling buzzed.
How did the hipster burn his tongue? He drank his coffee before it was cool.
The pie-maker couldn't eat any more strawberries because she was already stuffed.
Q: Why are orange and banana phones so popular these days?
A: They have appeal.
We're like three peas in a pod, but lately I feel left out. It's making me quite unhap-pea.
Americans were preparing peach gelatos, to demonstrate it's right to freeze peach!
I told my dad I wanted world peace. He said whirled peas sounded horrible.
Where do eggs go on holiday?
New Yolk.
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