What do you call a cheese that is an alcoholic? Livarot
I tried calling my fruit friend thrice, but could not peach him, as his phone was out of peach.
What song was the peach listening to? 'Stronger with Peach Tear'.
If you want to wish a 'Merry Christmas' to a strawberry, just say, "Straw-berry Christmas!'"
What happens to a nervous nut?
It cracks.
My herbs were looking a little scuffed, but when I went to go polish them, my friend was already getting ready to help me out. This made me upset, so I grabbed a sprig out of their hands and said
This is my thyme to shine.
What kind of potato do you want to take home to your parents? A sweet potato.
Why did the cheese lover hide cheese in the back of his fridge?
In queso emergency.
Why couldnt the pumpkin have kids?
He had a halloweener.
Yesterday I went to the store for only 2 items, a rising crust pizza and a strawberry cake. Fortunately they were relatively light, so bringing it home was a pizza cake!
What do you call a pair of cornstalks that are best friends?
Ear buds!
What does a cat like to eat on his birthday? Mice cream and cake!
If that’s the case, would it be wrong to say that the unfaithful watermelon had an illegitimate daughtermelon?
What do people with ambition drink? Loft-Tea.
When she spotted fake ramen in her soup, she said, “ This soup has impasta in it.”
What’s an apple’s favorite restaurant? Applebee’s.
Why did the clock in the donut shop run slow?
It always went back four seconds
Why is cherry pie so legendary? Because it is history in the baking.
“Waiter, will my pizza be long?”
“No sir, it will be round!”
What do you call a communist vegetable
a soviet onion.
What do you get if a chicken lays an egg on top of a barn?
An eggroll.
Why did the wheel act so bossy? Cause he was the "Big Cheese."
Why doesn’t anyone like to hang out with crackers?
Someone always cuts the cheese.
When I said "God, Thank you for this delicious noodle soup", my dad said "Ramen".
Why are walnuts the best secret keepers? They walnut say anything to anyone.
Are you a taco?
Cause you sure taco lot
How does a cookie wish his friends for Christmas? I whisk you a merry Christmas.
At a get-together, one fruit asked another "I was wondering how have you been". The other replied "Just peachy, isn't that grape?"
If Megan Fox is a cake, then what is Amanda Bynes? A fruitcake.
When my friend Frank died, his body was cremated and his ashes were placed in a decorative German beer tankard.
Now he's Frank in stein.
I always get pickle and chutney mixed up.
It makes me chuckle.
Chuck berry was undoubtedly the greatest rock and roll strawberry.
What is Bruce Lee’s favourite fruit? Wataaaaar melooooon?
What is a cheese lover’s favorite type of music?
R n’ Brie.
What's an egg's favorite tree?
A y-oak tree.
How do monsters like their eggs?
Terri-fried.
What did the paprika tell the salt around Christmas?
Seasonings greetings.
Have you heard of the new squirrel diet?
“It’s just nuts.”
What happens to a cherry tree when it grows up? It blossoms.
Vampires love cookies too, they love No-stake cookies.
What do you call it when a cheese goes #2?
Fondue-due.
Q: Why was the fruit not selected for the singing competition?
A: He has a flat peach.
Why was the backstroke done by the squirrel?
“The squirrel preferred to maintain his nuts dry.”
Son: Hey dad, I stole a peach from the grocery store today.
Dad: Why?
Son: I don’t know, but I feel guilty. It’s a real pit in my stomach.
How much does a corn flake weigh?
1 Kelloggram.
Pumpkin Spice and Everything Nice
What do you call a very little cherry? Pit-iful.
I'm worried that the milk I got this morning was from a cloned cow. It tasted exactly like the milk I had yesterday.
What can you only drink in the Middle East? Dust-Tea.
What did the corn farmer give to his therapist?
An ear full.
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