I went to Taco Bell and order nacho fries
the person behind the counter wouldn't give them to me, just kept saying "nacho fries".
When I was younger, I once smashed up a nest of heron's eggs.
No egrets.
What is a lions favourite cheese? Roar-quefort.
How do you sum up a cashew?
In a nutshell.
When I tried taking a picture of my bread load, it came out grainy. I think that that is a common problem.
Do you know why does your mother often shave a peach when cooking? Because she only needs nectarines for the recipe.
What is a ghosts favorite soup? Scream of Broccoli.
Breakfasts with my family always feel like a party because they're always making toasts.
Q: Why were the two green pea plants so close?
A: They had deep roots.
Q: What do you call a scary berry?
A: A boo-berry.
What's the most popular American cheese sitcom? Curd Your Enthusiasm
Wine Lovers Rhyme: A friend of wine is a friend of mine!
What did the Mama Hot Dog say to the little frankfurter? Ketch-up!
What do you get when you cross a chicken and a cow? Roost beef!
"Oh, sweet child of wine."
What did the pineapple say to the pineapple chunk? Stay golden.
Why did the blonde stare at the carton of orange juice? It said concentrate.
Have you heard the one about the lemon cat?
It was a real sour puss.
What do we call a plumb pineapple? It is called a pineapple chunk!
What do you call a Vegetarian with diarrhea? A Salad Shooter.
What do you get if you cross a jogger with an apple pie ? Puff pastry !
Who is the superhero who loves to have soup all the time? Souper-man.
Strawberries are great musicians because they make perfect jam sessions.
Which Star Wars character was the orange cast for?
Emperor Pulpatine.
The soup that my mom made for dinner healed my flu in a day. It was almost soup-er natural.
How do you get a squirrel to be your friend?
Act like a nut.
What did Yoda say when he turned a patron away for ordering a pie?
“Dough. Or doughnut. There is no pie.”
How does lettuce listen to music?
Headphones.
Why do donuts make terrible teachers?
They’re always glazing over the important stuff.
What do politicans need to drink? Honest-Tea.
When we spill soup on the comic book, we will get soup-erman.
What kind of candy bar does an employee crave before the weekend? A Payday
What do you call a spinning potato? A rotate-o.
If an apple a day keeps the doctor away, what does an onion do? Keeps everyone away.
What’s another name for a chess-nut? A nut who loves chess.
Did you know milk is the fastest liquid in existence? It’s pasteurized before you ever notice.
I got a packet of onions from the supermarket yesterday. Somehow, by today, all of them have disappeared. Guess this is why the shopkeeper warned me not to buy Bermuda Onions.
Why do Communists only drink herbal tea? Because proper tea is theft.
Cherries are actually great at a lot of different sports. Their favorite one, in case you were wondering, is archerry.
What’s fat, hairy and drinks a lot of coffee?
Java the Hut!
Why did the orange cry?
Someone hurt its peelings.
What is John Lennon's favorite donut? Strawberry' Filled Forever.'
Why shouldn’t you take corn on an airplane?
Your ears will pop!
Why do the hot dogs with ketchup spoil early?
Because the sauce ages.
A young slice of bread came up to his crush. He told her that he was really falling in loaf with her.
What do you call an ant dipped in chocolate? Decad-ant.
Where does a pineapple and cucumber vacation? Somewhere tropical (tro-pickle).
What does a cat lady say on Friday night?
I am drinking wine and feline fine!
Knock, knock! Who’s there? Orange. Orange who? Orange you going to let me in?.
Topside, silverside and brisket tend to groan when they get up from their chairs. This is because they are achey joints.
Go to BabaMail
