What do you call bacon with salt on it?
Salt and Peppa.
Did you hear about the CEO that got fired at the dairy farm? He was skimming a little bit off the top.
What do dogs like to drink? Kit-Tea.
What did one cheese say to the other during philosophy class?
“I dis a brie.”
How does cabernet like to travel abroad?
On a cruise sip.
I've started a Taco Bell themed John Coltrane cover band.x
We're called Crunchwrap Supremex
What kind of wine do traffic cops like best?
Fine wine!
Swallowing a cherry stone is not the end of the world. It’s just one of life’s little pitfalls.
A mathematician walks into a bar and says, “One beer for me, and 10 beers each for all my friends!”
Bartender: "Now that’s an order of magnitude!"
What's the difference between Hummus and Humus?
"mmmm"
What do we call the period in between eating a peach? – It is called a pit stop.
A berry from which you can directly drink out of is a straw-berry.
Why would an oreo cookie need to visit a dentist? To get a filling replacement.
What do you call two cookies from the same cookie sheet who fall in love? A batch made in heaven.
Why is milk taller than you?
Because it's always pasteurize
A cable TV installer walks into a bar and orders a beer.
The bartender says, "You'll be served sometime between 7am and 2pm."
What did the nectarine boxer say to his opponent? "You want a peach of me?"
My best friend said we're like two peas in a pod. I'm confused, there's only one P in pod.
what does a female corn do when she likes a male corn?
she corn-fesses.
Despite his puns being so orange-inal, nobody really likes them.
Why did the hot dog turn down a chance to star in a major motion picture? None of the rolls (roles) were good enough.
Who is a potato’s favorite author? Edgar Allen Poe-tato.
On what radio station would you hear Bob Dill-on?
Vlasic rock.
I thought about making a new condiment that was a mixture of Ketchup and Mustard.
But then I decided the name KetchTard would be pretty MustUp.
Italians are so good at making coffee because they naturally like to espresso themselves.
What do you call the greatest cheese to every live on the earth? Legen-dairy!
No one laughed at my soup puns. I said "When I crack a soup joke, everyone is soup-posed to laugh".
Why did the orange go to the doctor?
“It wasn’t peeling well.”
The peach started acting all funny because it was really fuzzy.
When the peach pit farewell to his friend, he said, "See you later, peach out".
"You are so bottlefull to me."
Wondering about a peach's favorite movie? Well it has to be the 'King's Peach'.
What is red and goes putt, putt, putt? An outboard apple.
What is a vampire's favorite fruit?
A blood orange.
If you throw your peas in the sky you get air pods.
Whenever I’m in France I always start the day with a bowl of mushrooms...
Breakfast of champinions
What did the pickle say when he was told he was going in to a salad?
I relish the thought.
What do you call a frozen frankfurter? A Chili dog.
My mum makes the best soups. She is a real soup-erstar.
Did you hear about the pick-up artist who only ever wears green leaves on his head? Yeah, he’s definitely a pineapple smoothie.
Don't be too harsh on the bread. All it kneads is love.
What did the cherry say when it won its third Olympic gold medal? That's just the cherry on top of a successful career.
How can you tell a wine taster is a newbie?
By the blanc look on her face.
Vegetarians can't eat anything with beans in. They don't eat food with a pulse.
He apologized for driving the orange to the edge of the blade
What is a strawberry's favorite music band? Pearl Jam.
What happened to the cherry that got married to an apple? They are living apple-y ever after.
Did you hear about the sign on the bakery that got everyone talking? It said “I knead dough to live.”
Why did the giant use clouds to make pancakes? To make them light and fluffy.
I eat a ton of corn everyday.
I guess that makes me a cornivore.
Sir, did you realize the consequences of naming your son Taco Cheese?
"No, but I have grate expectations."
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