What do you get when you cross Frosty with a baker?
Frosty the Dough-Man!
Soft fruit is not always the best at doing research. They aren’t very thorough; they tend to cherry pick information.
What do you get if you cross a pumpkin with a bigfoot?
A Sasquash.
Why did the orange come back after it was thrown in the garbage?
It was a boom-orange.
I am soup-er into the beautiful girl that I met yesterday at school.
What is the best way to cook alligator meat? With a croc pot!
In the middle of the night yesterday, I dreamt that I was swimming in a sea of oranges only to wake up and realize that it was just a Fanta-sea.
What do you get when you cross a chicken and a cow? Roost beef!
Knock, knock
Who’s there? CIA CIA, who? CI ate your last doughnut!
What’s the National Donut Day theme song?
“Donut Stop Believing.”
How did the nut study for its test?
It used the inter-nut.
My neighbor said a man walked into my garden and stole my mangoes.
I am wondering where did that mango.
Q: Why is a carrot orange and pointy?
A: Because if it was green and round, it would be a pea!
The doctor advised I tried a milk bath. I asked if it needs to be pasteurized. No, just above the knees she replied.
What did Einstein say when someone tried to steal his beer?
Nein! Mine Stein!
what does a female corn do when she likes a male corn?
she corn-fesses.
How does the serial killer like his coffee?
How he likes his women—all ground up.
I'm going to start a hummus brand that comes in really difficult to open containers.
It's gonna be called 'hummus posta eat this'.
What do leprechauns love to barbecue? Short ribs!
What did Snow White call her chicken?
Egg White.
When the mama peach found out that his child had failed his class, she was s-peach-less.
"What did the toaster say to the slice of bread?" "I want you inside me!"
Which nut is the best at playing tag?
Catch-yous aka cashews.
Unlike peaches, nectarines don't have any fuzz, because they suffer from Alo-peach-ea.
What is the wealthiest nut ever?
“A cashooo.”
That cola syrup is made by squeezing a kola nut.
That was soda pressing.
How long does it take to brew Chinese tea? Oolong time.
Why does every watermelon want to be in the Guinness book of records? Because there’s a lot of watermelon smashing to be done.
Why did the tomato turn red? It saw the salad dressing!
Why did the lemon like the orange? He’s not from concentrate.
Did you hear about the race between the lettuce and the tomato?
The lettuce was ahead while the tomato tried to ketchup.
Why did the baker keep putting too much flour in the bread? Because he was a gluten for punishment.
What does a pirate pay for his corn?
A buccaneer!
Why does the yogi meditate under the citrus tree?
Because it’s a sub-lime spot.
What do strawberries wear to bed?
Jammies!
What do you call bacon with salt on it?
Salt and Peppa.
Love is also like a pineapple: They both are undefinable and sweet.
Why did the pig become an actress? Because she was a real ham!
I tried to change my email password to “beef stew” the other day. It was refused because it was not stroganoff.
I sent back the soup served to me at the restaurant. It was not of soup-reme quality.
What do we get when we cross a Christmas tree with an apple? We will have a pine – apple!
What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Nacho Cheese!
Why does a little cherry always look up to its parents? It tries to follow in their fruitsteps.
Lately my wife has been looking at me as if I'm a piece of meat....
And it wouldn't bother me, if she wasn't a vegan.
A scarecrow's favorite fruit to eat is straw-berry.
"I'll be right back, I need to go for a pea," said the fruit during the interval.
What is the difference between a pineapple and a school bus? The little pricks are at the inside of the bus, but on the outside of the pineapple.
Damn, look at that pizza! It's an over panchiever.
A man walks into a bar with a fried egg on his head.
The bartender asks, "Why have you got a fried egg on your head?"
The man replies, "Because boiled eggs fall off."
Why don't potatoes go to parties?
They're scared of the Monster Mash.
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