A berry funny strawberry candy is called a Laffy taffy.
We're like three peas in a pod, but lately I feel left out. It's making me quite unhap-pea.
Due to unusually successful harvests of chickpeas this year, the price of hummus is going to fall dramatically.
Buy the dip.
What cheese do beavers like? eDam
My pet cow thinks she produces almond milk. She must be nuts.
What kind of candy bar does an employee crave before the weekend? A Payday
Why did you find a stoned able Sherlock Holmes applying ketchup to your front yard ??
Because he's a high-functioning sauce-your-path.
What's the difference between a pickle and a psychiatrist?
If you don't know, you ought to stop talking to your pickle!
Somebody was doing a speech and said, "This might be corny," and pulled out a couple of canned corns. Guess what happened next?
Total pundemonium.
Hundreds of chickpeas were found dead the other day. The police say it's a hummuside.
If there was a material made of milk which could store electricity...
...it would be called buttery.
How do you make Ohio State University cookies? Put them in a big Bowl and beat for 3 hours.
Where did the onion find his family history?
In the archives
Which type of wine do horses request most often?
Chardon-neigh.
Why was Tony Soprano fat? Cause he thought getting a slice of the pie was a piece of cake.
You had to use rennet to curdle the milk for making Ricotta, not lemon juice!
This is not the right whey.
"I just want some peach and quiet!," said the orange.
Did you hear about the secret guild of bakers? They say that they only trade recipes on a knead to know basis.
Join us and let’s make pizza cheese grate again.
What do you call a group of butchers coming together? A meating.
Walnuts are hard to crack open. It can take several mi-nuts.
What did baby corn say to Mama corn?
Where's Popcorn?
How do you get a Minecraft themed party started? Let them eat cake.
A young slice of bread came up to his crush. He told her that he was really falling in loaf with her.
If you leave alphabet soup on the stove and leave, it could spell disaster.
What kind of cheese to beavers eat?
Edam.
Why does the jellybean go to school? Because he wants to become a smartie.
What did an angry donut say to his wife?
Donut talk to me.
Saw a great offer on cheese in Tesco today!
It was buy one get one brie.
"I'm not a wino. I'm a wineYES!"
What did the pastry chef say to his unsupportive father?
“Donut hole me back.”
What did the M&M go to college? Because he wanted to be a Smarty.
What did the steak say to his girlfriend? You're the apple of my rib-eye!
What do you call a walnut in a narwal costume? A nar-walnut.
When I refused to have the soup, my sister said "People who do not have soup are stew-pid".
There’s a suspicious email going around, with the subject line “Canned meat.” Don’t open it, it’s spam!
You can fix a broken strawberry with a strawberry patch.
This kind of wine does not go right through you. Trust me, you will pee no noir.
Kid: Dad, why don’t you approve of the consumption of dairy products?
Dad: Because I was raised lactose intolerant.
I was walking past the store today when I saw a sign saying, "All items one-third off."
So I bought a dozen eggs. Unfortunately four of them were rotten.
If Megan Fox is a cake, then what is Amanda Bynes? A fruitcake.
When you find a blue strawberry, try to cheer it up.
When the peach lost her mother, it left a deep pit in her heart.
Have you ever tried kangaroo meat? I have. It was tasty, but it made me a bit jumpy.
Maturity is typically most rapid in a low latitude, where women and pineapples most do thrive.
What is a pirate’s favorite cheese?
Ched-arrrrgh!
You really ate dog meat? How was it?
.... ruff
Why was there peanut butter in the middle of the road?
It went with the traffic jam.
What do you call a very little cherry? Pit-iful.
What do you call a field full of epileptic lettuce ?
Seizure Salad
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