What happened to the pig who liked pineapple? He turned into a porky-pine!
It’s too bad the man couldn’t quit his job at the bakery. He really kneaded the dough.
Why are candles lit on top of birthday cakes?
It’s impossible to light them on the bottom
Damn, look at that pizza! It's an over panchiever.
My dad always used to tell me, "Never put all your eggs in one basket."
Which is probably why we lost the Easter egg hunt.
What kind of candy is never on time? ChocoLATE
Did you hear about the farm dog who liked to strip ears of corn?
He was part husky!
What do you call leftover lettuce?
The romaines.
What do you call a depressed vegetable
Despairagus.
What do we get when we cross a pineapple and a pig? We have a porky – pine!
What do you call a nut with facial hair?
A mustachio.
How old was the cave man on his birthday?
Stone Age.
My son ate daffodil bulbs instead of onions
But that's really serious! Is he in hospital?
Yes, he's still a bit yellow, but he should be coming out in the spring.
Why wouldn’t the reporter leave the mashed potatoes alone? He desperately wanted a scoop.
A sad peach can be really pit-iful, sometimes.
If your team loses the Souper Bowl, then be prepared for a lot of boouillons from your fans.
How does lettuce listen to music?
Headphones.
I tried buying a car from a religious person and got a lemon!
I suppose you get what you prayed for..
In the last peach race, I put $30 peach way on two new racers.
What wisdom did the daddy cheese pass down to his son?
A curd in the hand is worth two in the bush.
Wino Woe: Forgive me, for I have zinned!
How do monsters like their eggs?
Terri-fried.
What is a corn's favorite song?
Corn fields forever.
Did you hear about the race between the lettuce and the tomato?
The lettuce was ahead while the tomato tried to ketchup.
My girlfriend was seasoning the soup. I asked, "What spice is that?", and she replied "Sage".
I said, "Sounds wise".
If you are what you eat, does that mean all squirrels are nuts?
In life, the rule of thumb is, don’t bite more than you can chew unless it is chocolate.
I got arrested for the way I eat corn.
They charged me with a salt and buttery.
What’s the best thing you can put in a halloween cookie? Your teeth.
Digital burgers are nothing but processed meat.
Where do bananas go to learn to be sweet?
Sundae School.
Ladies, if he can't appreciate your fruit jokes, you need to let that mango.
It’s common for people with heartbreaks to crumble.
If you’re looking for Valentine’s Day inspiration for a meat loving crush, try “Will you beef my Valentine?”
What did the artichoke say to the man eating a salad? Have a heart.
What do you get when you hghyphotocopy fruit?
Paper jam.
What did the fruit bowl say when it saw Santa Claus come down the chimney? We wish you a cherry Christmas!
What are strange donuts made out of?
Weird-doughs.
What‘s an Italian’s favorite tea?
Spagettea!
What's the best Beatles' song to play at a coffee shop? Latte Be.
What do you call an anthropomorphic animal blended in ice cream?
A McFurry
Can I have some of your avocado?
GUAC NO! I give zero guacs! You need to guac off!
What has 100 teeth and eats wieners? A zipper!
The strawberry was scared of the cream. They were afraid it had gone bad.
What happens if a cashew falls down your shirt?
It becomes a chestnut.
The chickpea wrote a book, but he didn't release it until after his death. He wanted to do it post-hummusly.
What is the recipe for Honeymoon Salad? Lettuce alone without dressing.
If mom leaves her alphabet soup on the stove and forgets about it, it would spell disaster.
What’s the difference between England’s football team and a tea bag
A tea bag stays longer in the cup.
Tobacco companies have made an orange flavored cigarette. They call it “Nico-tang”
Go to BabaMail
