What kind of apple isn't an apple? A pineapple. What did the apple say to the apple pie? "You've got some crust."
What happened to the football team that practiced in a corn field?
They got creamed!
Mr. and Mrs. Peanut finally got married and tied the nut.
What do you call a hobbit who has bad breath? He is known as Lord of Onion Rings!
I tried looking up ice cream puns on the Internet...
But then my browser froze.
Strawberries have berry good eyesight because they are packed with a lot of Vitamin See.
My pet cow thinks she produces almond milk. She must be nuts.
He ordered 6 vodkas, 6 beers and 6 lemonades. The bartender asked if he would like a tray.
"No I have enough to carry as it is."
Where did the spinach go to have a few drinks? The Salad Bar!
Why did the orange stop rolling down the hill? It ran out of juice.
Why was the orange the valedictorian of her class?
She was the zest in class.
What is John Lennon's favorite donut? Strawberry' Filled Forever.'
Why couldn’t the teddy bear finish his dessert?
Cause he was stuffed.
This year for Valentine's day I got my wife the ace of hearts and packets of corn flour, rice flour and self raising flour
She wasn't happy. Apparently it wasn't what she meant when she said she just wanted a card and flowers.
Why did the corn stalks hold a ceremony in honor of the scarecrow?
To corn-gratulate him for being out standing in their field!
Did you know dried fruits favorite news segments is...
Current events.
What did the hot dog bun say to the hot dog? Stop touching my buns!
Why did the pineapple suddenly stop the car in the middle of the highway? Because it just ran out of juice.
Q: What made the green pea turn red?
A: It saw the salad dressing.
Why did the lemon like the orange? He’s not from concentrate.
Why don't bananas snore? Because they don't want to wake up the rest of the bunch.
Why didn't the watermelon marry the strawberry?
They cantaloupe.
My friends and I are in search of some fresh vegetables puns.
Please lettuce know if you find any.
We all know that the New England Patriots have their soup in the Super Bowl.
What’s the National Donut Day theme song?
“Donut Stop Believing.”
If fish is a type of brain food, then dumb people probably love eating noodle soup.
Why did the banana go out with a lemon?
Because it couldn't find a date!
Worried about overcooking your onion?
Don't sweat it.
Tonight my wife was making dinner and she was using some fresh peas. She dropped some on the floor.
My 4 year old said “mummy, you’ve pee’d on the floor”
Needless to say I was in stitches.
I can't use my laptop anymore because someone spilled apple juice on it.
It was a cider attack.
How do you sum up a cashew?
In a nutshell.
The price of candy at the movie theater is quite ridiculous. They're always raisinet!
What do you call a pickle that got run over on the road?
Road dill.
Police arrested a man who dropped his phone in the ocean. The was charged with a salt in battery.
I sat on some peas in the car. It was a bumpea ride.
Following a recipe, says I need: pears, five cubed. 125 sounds like a lot of pears for a pie…
What do you call a cherry that is hard as nails? Tough as old fruits.
Why are you eating a banana with the skin on? Oh, it's all right. I know what's inside.
Who is the funniest fruit around? Cherry Seinfeld.
What do squirrels eat at the fair?
A-corn dog.
We failed to find the dog's bone because the owner berried it.
Why is a pineapple so attractive? Because it keeps its juices flowing.
To the person who has been eating all of my mixed nuts.
I'm going to cashew.
What did the insulted orange say to the kiwi? Ex-squeeze-me?
What did the salad lover say to his girlfriend?
You will Romaine in my heart forever.
What type of window do donuts prefer in their homes?
Double glazed.
My friends say that I cannot cook alphabet soup for this dinner. And now they are eating their words.
Why did the giant use clouds to make pancakes? To make them light and fluffy.
Why did the one legged clown leave the cheese circus? Because he couldn't get his stilton.
What is a vegetable's favourite part of the song?
When the beet drops!
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