A major produce organization is reeling after multiple reports of tainted lettuce.
We may soon witness the falling of the Romaine Empire.
When is a vegetable also a nut?
When it’s a corn!
Which is the Richest Cheese in the world? Paris Stilton.
Did you hear what happened with the sourdough bread? It really rose to the occasion today.
What makes the soup of a dragon so delicious is the addition of firecrackers.
How can you spot a fashionista donut?
They’re into all the latest glazes.
The daddy strawberry got the job to perform at the circus because he was a berry straw-ng man.
Vampires love cookies too, they love No-stake cookies.
Hundreds of chickpeas were found dead the other day. The police say it's a hummuside.
Why did the burglar break into the bakery?
Because he heard the cakes were rich.
Why couldn’t the peanut finish the project?
Work came to a grinding halt.
“Mom, what do we have for this dinner?” – “I cannot tell you. It is a little soup-prise, son!”
Q: Why did the pea sell his car?
A: The back seat didn’t have enough legume.
You know what they say about ice cream parents?
They play flavorites.
What do you call a steak hurtling through space? A meat-ior!
The Bee Gees were such fans of onions that they even dedicated a song to it. They named it 'Chives Talking'.
The local baker keeps punching his doughy friend because he wants to get a rise out of him.
What did the banker want from the baker?
To pump her nickels.
Which is the most religious cheese? Swiss, because it is holy.
What day to eggs hate the most?
Fry-day.
If you put a strawberry in the freezer, you can make a strawberry shake!
What did the glass of wine say to the beer?
Nothing... They barley knew each other.
How do you know it’s getting kind of serious with a cheese lover?
They tell you they are pretty fondue you.
What would you call a dairy product that is horrible? “Udder bullshit.”
What did the mom cheese tell the little boy cheese when he got hurt on his bike?
“Gotta take the gouda with the bad.”
What did the mama nut say to her son?
“If I ever cashew doing that, I walnut be happy.”
Sorry kids - we won't be carving pumpkins this year... Sorry to squash your enthusiasm.
I told my dad I wanted world peace. He said whirled peas sounded horrible.
Which Oiler great had a soft spot for Indian food? Jari Curry.
Why did the blonde buy a brown cow? To get chocolate milk.
Why didn't the kids eat their soup? Because they're stew peed.
Where did the spinach go to have a few drinks? The Salad Bar!
What do you get when you cross a human and a pear?
A pear-son.
What do you call a girl watermelon cop on the beat? A water fe-melon duty.
How does the Skywalker family like their tea?
Lukewarm.
What should you do if you see a blue banana?
Try and cheer it up.
What did the corn say when it was being followed?
“I’m being stalked!”
Bananas, for breakfast, are such an a-peeling choice.
What did the ice-cream say to the unhappy birthday cake? "What's eating you?"
What do you call a dog with a fever? A hot dog.
What do you call a pickle from the southern backwoods.
A hill-dilly.
What does a cheese lover say when someone keeps messing around with them?
“You gouda brie kidding!”
What's a vampire's favorite fruit?
A neck-tarine.
Did you hear about the fruit who was convicted of armed robbery?
“Now he’s a waterfelon.”
Why are acorns bad at telling jokes? Because they tend to be acorn-y.
What's the most musical cut of chicken? The drumstick!
Q: What do you call a scary berry?
A: A boo-berry.
At a meeting, Mr. Tomato asked Mr. Peach, "Can you give me the peach cobbler's number, I need to mend my shoes".
How do you get the most apples at Halloween? Take a snorkel.
What do you see when the Pillsbury Doughboy bends over? Doughnuts!
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