What do you call two watermelons that are not allowed to get married? A couple of can’t- elopes.
What is a cowboy’s favorite tree?
A horse chestnut tree.
I used to sell loose onions
Until I got the sack
Why did the orange cry?
Someone hurt its peelings.
What did the boss pig say to the pig worker for not working fast enough? “chop chop slow pork”.
What happened to the cherry that got married to an apple? They are living apple-y ever after.
Say this aloud: Eye Yam Stew Peed
Q: What do you get when you walk around with cherries in your shoes?
A: Toe jam.
What do you call a small Subaru car covered in road salt?
An Impretzel!
Who were the first cheese lovers ever?
Edam and Eve.
Why do bananas wear suntan lotion? Because they peel!
Patient: Doctor, I get heartburn every time I eat birthday cake." Doctor: Next time, take off the candles.
No one understands me when i say I like to paint peas in a cage.
I don’t what is so hard about it. I’m a trapped peas artist.
When is the peanut butter due to arrive?
In a Jif.
Why did the potato wear socks?
To keep his pota-toes warm.
I love you a tot!
I saw a road sign the other day that said "Dip In Road"
I turned the corner and drove straight into a load of hummus
What do you call it when a taco stands in your way ?
An obs-taco
Why did the orange go out with a prune? He couldn’t find a date.
What do you call a sad cup of coffee? A depresso.
What is an elf's favorite kind of birthday cake? Shortcake!
What vegetable isnt allowed on cruise ships?
Leeks.
Finally, the call came in and the orange was informed by the person on the other end of the line that the company had orange-d an interview for the following day.
Bad vegetable puns are dreadful.
It’s a truly rotten experience.
What do you call a baker with a cold?
Coughee cake.
Knock, knock! Who’s there? Orange. Orange who? Orange you going to let me in?.
What does a dragon eat with his soup? Firecrackers.
What did the insulted orange say to the kiwi? Ex-squeeze-me?
What do you drink if you want to freshen your breath? Mint-Tea.
What’s a balanced diet like?
A slice of cake in each hand!
I just finished the Mona Lisa made from vegetables. It's a masterpeas.
Why did the blonde stare at the carton of orange juice? It said concentrate.
A strawberry's favorite place to visit is Jam-aica.
I like European food so I decided to Russia over there because I was Hungary. After Czech'ing the menu I ordered Turkey. When I was Finnished I told the waiter 'Spain good but there is Norway I could eat another bite'.
What do you call a talkative drink? Chai Tea.
What is the correct answer to Hummus?
A cow.
Knock Knock
Who’s there Justin Justin who? Justin time to make the donuts!
What do dogs love to eat for breakfast?
woofles
What do you call a pastry that is a priest?
A Holy Donut!
How do you know you in "love" with spicy food? After getting to third basil.
A strawberry screamed at the other, "Were it not that ripe, we wouldn't have ended up in this jam."
"Chardonnay or should I go?"
“How are you? ” “Well, I yam fried”
I got some salt in my eye
Now it’s sea salt.
Why don't anarchists drink green tea?
Because it helps fight free radicals.
Wife told me to grow a pear.
I did. It tasted delicious.
Where’s a donut’s favorite vacation spot?
The Sahara dessert!
"Read between the wines."
Fish taco says why don't you want to taco about it And the nacho says cause I'm nacho friend.
What did the artichoke say to the man eating a salad? Have a heart.
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