What do you call a cow that has 1 leg? Steak
What do you call a nut with a hairy upper lip?
A mustach-io
What did the vicar use for his vegetable patch?
Lettuce spray.
The manager at the bread store told the baker that he had to stop loafing around. The baker said that it was his job.
Why do donuts hate puns so much?
They donut like to joke around!
Why do gherkins giggle when you touch them?
They're pickle-ish.
I was walking down the street when I stood on a banana.
Luckily, I was wearing my Slipknot t-shirt.
What did the cheese say after escaping the mouse? I'm Brieeee!
"You're the wine that I want."
The cheap baker only paid his employees a flourly rate. Cheapskate!
What do you call hot dogs in winter? Chilly dogs!
How do you know it’s cold outside? When you milk a brown cow you get
chocolate ice cream.
Which mammal absolutely loves Merlot and Cabernet?
The Wineoceros.
All the peanuts decided to start a social nutwork where they would all link up for a common good and even advocate for their rights.
How do monkeys get down the stairs? They slide down the banana-ster!
What do you call the Commander of a vegetable army?
A kernel.
When everyone agreed with Hulk at breakfast that they love waffles more, he said, "Not all heroes wear crepes."
What happens when no one comes to your birthday party?
You can have your cake and eat it too.
I gave my toddler peas for the first time. He wasn't very hap-pea.
What's a vampire's favorite fruit?
A neck-tarine.
Dad fertilized the garden with corn starch.
The plot thickens.
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What do you call mountain climbing corn?
Mountain-ears.
What does a mommy cherry say to her children? I love you cherry much.
What do you call an anthropomorphic animal blended in ice cream?
A McFurry
What do you call a fruit that doesn't take s**t from anyone? The top banana.
What makes nuts healthy? They have many nut-rients.
You don't know jack-o-lantern
“How are you? ” “Well, I yam fried”
Why didn't the watermelon marry the strawberry?
They cantaloupe.
In the middle of the night yesterday, I dreamt that I was swimming in a sea of oranges only to wake up and realize that it was just a Fanta-sea.
When the peach pit farewell to his friend, he said, "See you later, peach out".
Bananas, for breakfast, are such an a-peeling choice.
Why does everyone invite ice cream to the party?
It’s cool.
"Rosé all day."
What do you get when you cross a pickle with an alligator?
A crocodill.
What did one bread say to another after a long day? Don’t worry because tomorrow will be butter.
The Japanese restaurant serves the best soups. It will always make miso happy.
What kind of cookies do poor people want during Halloween? Fortune cookies.
I got fruit preserves on my finger.
Doctor said I was jammed.
How is divorce like espresso? It's bitter and expensive.
What do you call two pears?
A pair.
What do you call a steak hurtling through space? A meat-ior!
What do you get when you cross an orange with a parrot? A carrot.
When I was in grade school, one of my best friends spoke Mandarin. One day, he introduced me to his parents and I told them I don’t speak orange.
What happened when the butcher backed up into the meat grinder? He got a little behind in his work!
People really liked the new king's coronation day peach. He truly deserves the throne.
How do you know your eating rabbit soup? When there's a hare in it.
Which type of nut goes to outer space?
An astro-nut
Why did the orange come back after it was thrown in the garbage?
It was a boom-orange.
Things don’t always pine out the way we want them to, but we can-nut give up!
What did the lemon juice say to the baking soda?
Ya basic!
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