What do you call a fruit riding a motorcycle?
“An Orange County Chopper.”
Why do kids love to clean out the cookie jar for Halloween? To make room for Halloween candy.
What does a loaf of bread say when breaking up with his girlfriend?
You deserve butter.
Why did the fruit bat eat the orange?
“Because it had appeal.”
What did the banana say to the monkey? Nothing, bananas can't talk!
Which Star Wars character was the orange cast for?
Emperor Pulpatine.
What kind of donuts can fly?
The plain ones.
My friends say that I cannot cook alphabet soup for this dinner. And now they are eating their words.
Why did the butcher work overtime at the grocery store? To make ends meat!
What is a lions favourite cheese? Roar-quefort
What kind of keys do kids like to carry? Cookies!
Why do we put candles on top of a birthday cake? Because it's too hard to put them on the bottom!
When I was younger, I once smashed up a nest of heron's eggs.
No egrets.
What did the cornfield say when it heard rain coming?
That’s music to my ears!
What does a cow say to milk? I am your mother.
Bananas, for breakfast, are such an a-peeling choice.
Who is the most powerful potato? Darth Tater.
Where's the best place to get information about eggs?
The hen-cyclopedia.
What do ghoul scouts hope to achieve by selling halloween cookies? They hope to make a good first impression.
What do you call a communist vegetable
a soviet onion.
What do you call a sleeping pizza?
A piZZZZZZa.
I hate lentils but I love peas. They're more ap-peas-ing to my pealate.
The only fruit that makes me feel fuzzy and warm is a peach.
Somebody was doing a speech and said, "This might be corny," and pulled out a couple of canned corns. Guess what happened next?
Total pundemonium.
What do you see when the Pillsbury Doughboy bends over? Doughnuts!
I'm not too fond of not finishing my entire bowl of cereal. I think I have irritable bowl syndrome.
There's no need to cherry your feelings, I know you love me really.
What do you call half a head of lettuce?
The Romaine-der.
I tried buying a car from a religious person and got a lemon!
I suppose you get what you prayed for..
What do you call an overly cautious cup of tea?
Uncertaintea.
When the little boy was baking a cake why did it run away? Because it said crack 2 eggs then beat it!
Milk is the fastest drink on the planet. It's pasteurized before you even see it.
What word backwards can predict the future? Cookies (Seikooc as in psychic of you say it).
"Is that a yay or cabernet?"
Which is the Richest Cheese in the world? Paris Stilton.
While cutting the onions, my eyes were leek-ing tears
How did Burger King get Dairy Queen Pregnant? He forgot to wrap his whopper!
Pumpkin Spice and Everything Nice
I switched labels in my wife's spice cabinet.
She hasn't noticed, but the thyme is cumin.
Why do the French eat snails? They dislike fast food.
A strawberry screamed at the other, "Were it not that ripe, we wouldn't have ended up in this jam."
My wife misplace the sugar with the salt in her sugar cookies.
It was sodium disgusting.
What did the paprika tell the salt around Christmas?
Seasonings greetings.
Knock Knock
Who’s there Justin Justin who? Justin time to make the donuts!
Which is the most religious cheese? Swiss, because it is holy.
What's the difference between a Yankee Stadium hot dog and a Fenway Park hot dog? You can buy a Yankee Stadium hot dog in October.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Butter.
Butter who?
I butter nut tell you.
“My favorite color is tangerine- isn’t that orange-inal?”
Many people have a mythical belief about soup. It is called soup–erstition.
What did the insulted orange say to the kiwi? Ex-squeeze-me?
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