The young woman decided to become a professional baker. She realized that it could help her earn her bread and butter.
What is a terrorist's preferred kind of wine?
White Infidel.
This is a taco and burrito conversation.
Nachos.
What did the ice-cream say to the unhappy birthday cake?
“What’s eating you?”
What do you call a stolen yam? A hot potato.
What happened to the man who turned into a pistachio?
He became a shell of who he once was.
What did the artichoke say to the man eating a salad? Have a heart.
What is Whitney Houston's favorite kind of lettuce?
Ennnnnnndddiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiivvvee.
What do you call a fat kid who likes chocolate milk?
An OvalTeen
Why did the pirate have a pumpkin strapped to his arm?
He was a squash-buckler.
"Let's get fizzical. Pass the prosecco."
Why did the tomato turn red? It saw the salad dressing!
Which vegetable is most likely to be your friend?
The broccoli.
What do you call a fruit riding a motorcycle?
“An Orange County Chopper.”
Chuck berry was undoubtedly the greatest rock and roll strawberry.
My friend accidentally got salt in his papercut.
Talk about adding insalt to injury.
Made the mistake of offering my realtor some lipton iced tea
I forgot that he only drinks realty.
I like fried chickpeas, but I shouldn't eat them. Every time I do I falafel.
How long does it take to brew Chinese tea? Oolong time.
I got a pear stuck in my toilet. All I needed to do was flush and it was gone.
Because a flush always beats a pair.
What would you call two banana skins? A pair of slippers!
Do you know how the pineapple feeds her children? She gives them milk from her pinenipples!
What do sophisticated fish drink? Salt-Tea.
What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup? Anyone can roast beef.
Did you hear about the crab that went to the seafood disco? He pulled a muscle
What kind of nuts come in cans?
Creamed a-corn.
Why did the man keep punching his doughy friend?
To get a rise out of him!
Onions are great gymnasts as they have the advantage of swinging on the onion rings.
Nowadays oranges have decided to go out with prune. The reason is that it is becoming so hard to find a date.
He is the best chef in the city. His soups take my broth away.
If that’s the case, would it be wrong to say that the unfaithful watermelon had an illegitimate daughtermelon?
Knock Knock.
Who’s there? Donut. Donut who? Donut ask, it’s a secret!
I had thought of a lot of good bread puns, but they seem to have gone a rye. I know the feeling.
What is a walnut’s favorite Christmas play? The Nutcracker.
Did you hear about the elusive skating watermelon thief? Not really, the only description they got was a Caucasian melon wheels.
What does a birthday cake and a baseball team have in common?
They both need good batters.
What does a cherry say when it delivers bad news? Don't fruit the messenger.The Peach President lost the presidential race because he got im-peached.
In the history class, the onion teachers taught the student onions that during the vegetable cold war, the Soviet Onion was a superpower.
Today, I am eating a bun filled with pineapple and ham for my dinner. That is Hawaii roll.
Why did a can of nuts win the part in the Christmas pageant? Because they were the best nut-tavity actors.
Q: Which basketball players eat fruits?
A: The ones who like to cherry pick.
How sweet is only for girls?
Her-shey’s kisses.
"Alcohol you later."
I tried wild ox milk
Turns out I'm yak-tose intolerant
The walnut got in trouble for pecan through the window.
What did the apple say to the almond? You're Nuts!
When do franks tell insults? At a wienie roast!
Hello my name is lettuce, and I was going to the grocery store...
Ah, I’m getting ahead of myself
The soup was busy and preoccupied. He was stewing over something his friend said.
This year for Valentine's day I got my wife the ace of hearts and packets of corn flour, rice flour and self raising flour
She wasn't happy. Apparently it wasn't what she meant when she said she just wanted a card and flowers.
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