What is the only time you start at the red and stop at the green?
“When you eat a watermelon!”
What did the watermelon wife say to his stinky husband? You’ve got a strange smelon you today.
What do you call it when Satan steals your guacamole?
Playing Devil’s Avocado.
What drink scares defense lawyers? Guilt-Tea.
If we played hot potato I’d lose, because I’d never let you go.
Do you know what the common thing between a pineapple and a king is? Both of them wear a crown proudly on their top.
Q: Why did the fruit stop for some time while driving?
A: It wanted to make a quick pit-stop
On my farm, an entire lot of onions had some allergic reactions that broke out in chives!
The man on the table found hair in his soup. He said in rage "I will take the chef to soup-reme court".
What did the farmer say when someone complimented him on his corn harvest?
Aww, shucks!
Why did the orange lose his job at the factory? He didn’t concentrate.
Do you know the hardest part about making skimmed milk? Having to throw the cows across the lake.
what does a female corn do when she likes a male corn?
she corn-fesses.
How does the recipe for German Sauerbraten begin? "First invade ze kitchen."
What does the ginger bread man put on his bed? A cookie sheet.
Where do astronauts buy their milk? From the milky way!!!
Strawberries are considered to be the most bullied fruits because they're always getting picked on.
Why did the butcher work overtime at the grocery store? To make ends meat!
Why don't cows have any money? Because farmers milk them dry
Why do ice cream cones make such good journalists?
They always get a scoop.
just bought 5 slabs of San miguel, 10 sombreros and 25 tacos,
I'm Hispanic buying
Which hand should we use to stir the soup? It is better to stir the soup with a spoon!
What is the difference between pea soup and roast beef? Everyone would roast beef.
What do you call a beautiful pumpkin?
Gourdgeous.
I got fruit preserves on my finger.
Doctor said it was jammed.
What does a cheese like to drink after a long day?
Morbier.
What do donuts think about donut puns? They donut like them!
Did you hear what happened to the girl who twisted her ankle in the cow’s pen? She was milking her injury!
When an unripe strawberry saw the ripe strawberry, it went green with envy.
How does a pineapple answer the phone? “Yel-low?”
Went to the doctor because I got a strawberry stuck in my ear
He gave me some cream for it
What did the vegetable say at the party?
Lettuce turnip the beet!
What did the oranges do after concluding the meeting?
They peeled the deal.
The bread actor was sad because he lost a juicy roll.
How do you describe an onion which is in its early stages after birth? You say it is in its onion-ic period of its life.
Q: What anime series do fruits like to watch?
A: One peach.
Q: What kind of decisions do peaches make?
A: Fruitful ones.
The plural of mango should be changed to mengo
What do you call the king of vegetables? Elvis Parsley.
Did you hear about the unlucky man who bought some bananas? They were empty.
How does bread win over friends?
“You can crust me.”
It’s too bad the man couldn’t quit his job at the bakery. He really kneaded the dough.
What is a popular name for girl peanuts?
Michelle.
What’s a nut’s favorite Shakespeare line?
“To be or nut to be.”
What do you call a cow with a twitch? Beef jerky!
What do you call a hobbit who has bad breath? He is known as Lord of Onion Rings!
Why would the fruits beat the vegetables?
They have a better punch.
What is the name of the dancing chocolate bar?
Nestle Crunk bar.
I sent my cows to bed at 8pm last night. I told them 'it's pasteur bedtime'.
What’s a pizza maker’s favorite song?
Slice, Slice Baby
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