How does cabernet like to travel abroad?
On a cruise sip.
How many tacos can an octopus eat?
Ten tacos.
Why did the pineapple suddenly stop the car in the middle of the highway? Because it just ran out of juice.
What vegetable is kind of cool?
The Radish.
Who is the funniest fruit around? Cherry Seinfeld.
What is a donut’s favorite day of the week?
Fry-day.
Do you know what firemen often add to their soup? – They add firecrackers.
What is the correct answer to Hummus?
A cow.
Broccoli: I look like a tree. Walnut: I look like a brain. Mushroom: I look like an umbrella. Banan Can we change the topic?
When the baby onion died just after being born, the doctors classified it as an o-neonatal death.
It is a great idea to ask peaches to make your shoes. After all, they make excellent cobblers.
Dad Ordered Taco Bell
Asked how many Dillas come in their Ques 'a Dillas
What do you get when you cross a bean and an onion?
Teargas.
My father loves eating reams of soup. That is the reason why I think he should be nominated to the Soup – ream – court!
So I asked Satan if he had any milk I could drink...
He told me "No whey in Hell!"
A pickle store is giving out their new tea-flavored pickles on the street today
I tried some and I guess they tasted quite a-tea-pickle.
Why did Eve want to leave the garden of Eden and move to New York ? She fell for the Big Apple !
Bad vegetable puns are dreadful.
It’s a truly rotten experience.
I don’t like mangoes. I asked my boyfriend if he thinks they’ll grow on me one day.
He said “I think they can. You just need to be watered properly.”
What do you call a baby potato? Small fry.
What do you call a cute donut?
A-dough-able.
A truck with an entire load of strawberries has crashed on the motorway. It's caused a real traffic jam.
What do you say to a small onion that has helped you?
Thanks shallot.
What’s the best time to eat a peach while watching a NASCAR race? During the pit stop!
Remind your kids not to overdo it on the pumpkin pie this time of year.
Or they might get autumn'y ache.
Last year, when I went to Texas, I met this very polite and gentle onion. Its name was the Texas supa-sweet onion.
Whenever I’m in France I always start the day with a bowl of mushrooms...
Breakfast of champinions
Made the mistake of offering my realtor some lipton iced tea
I forgot that he only drinks realty.
What soup killed Rob Stark? Italian Wedding Massacre.
I stopped for lunch at a German restaurant, but unfortunately got food poisoning. It really was the wurst.
"Giving you more reasons to wine."
Why do baby seals swim in salt water? Cause pepper water makes them sneeze.
Having pineapple on a pizza is quite like going down on a cousin: It might taste good, but something is not right.
How did the corn farmer get to be so successful?
He corn-ered the market!
What did the banana do when he saw a monkey? The banana split!
I felt like telling you the joke about a strawberry jam on a piece of bread, but I won't. You might go around spreading it.
What do you call a cow in a rooster costume? Roost beef.
While leaving, the peach friend told his sad buddy, "If you need any help, just peach out, I will be there."
I got some salt in my eye
Now it’s sea salt.
A fruit was madly in love, it was peachy–keen.
What do you call bananas who are friends with monkeys? A bunch of idiots.
What's the difference between French fries and orange juice?
You can make orange juice out of orange, but not French fries out of French
How do you get a mouse to smile? Say cheese!
What's green and sour and swims in an aquarium?
A tro-pickle fish.
You don't know jack-o-lantern
I saw a joke about chocolate bars but it wasn’t that funny So I just snickered.
Many people have a mythical belief about soup. It is called soup–erstition.
What do you call a mislabeled orange juice container?
Pulp fiction.
What happened after an explosion at a French cheese factory? All that was left was de brie.
If that’s the case, would it be wrong to say that the unfaithful watermelon had an illegitimate daughtermelon?
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