What's a baby gherkin's favorite TV channel?
Pickleodeon.
Why did the orange stop rolling down the hill? It ran out of juice.
What do you call an overly cautious cup of tea?
Uncertaintea.
What's in a honeymoon salad?
Lettuce alone
What does a meditating egg say?
Ohmmmmmmmlet.
What would you call two banana skins? A pair of slippers!
I think therefore I yam.
"It's wine o'clock."
The watermelon thief was charged with robbery with violence, but the judge later changed that to a minor felony; or melony as he put it.
What do you call a pair of cornstalks that are best friends?
Ear buds!
What does an onion say when you are upset because of it one day? It says, "I am sorry that I made you cry!"
What cookie makes you rich? A fortune cookie!
What happens when no one comes to your birthday party?
You can have your cake and eat it too.
What do you call cheese that is acting crazy? A basket queso.
The only fruit that makes me feel fuzzy and warm is a peach.
The scientist was meticulous about his strawberry pies. He rounded up the protein content of his pie at 3.14.
The only type of berry you will ever find in a barn is a straw-berry.
I heard that my neighbor, who loved dried fruit, has passed away. May his soul rest in peach.
Did you know that Beethoven's favorite fruit
Ba Na Na Naaa...Ba Na Na Naaa...
You can only know the heart of a pineapple with a knife.
Mandy: Our teacher went on a special banana diet. Andy: Did she lose weight? Mandy: No, but she sure could climb trees well!
What did the hot dog bun say to the hot dog? Stop touching my buns!
How do you know it’s getting kind of serious with a cheese lover?
They tell you they are pretty fondue you.
Why did the donut go to the doctor?
He was feeling crumby.
What do you call a chicken with a piece of lettuce in its eye? Chicken Caesar Salad
Why did the orange turn into orange juice?
It couldn’t handle the pressure.
Q: Why did the orange cross the road?
A: Because everyone thought he was a chicken.
How does bread woo a lover?
With lots of flours.
When I proposed to my fiancee, she started crying. It must be because I proposed to her with an onion ring.
What did the vicar use for his vegetable patch?
Lettuce spray.
How can you tell the difference between a monster and a banana? Try picking it up. If you can't, it's either a monster or a giant banana.
A major produce organization is reeling after multiple reports of tainted lettuce.
We may soon witness the falling of the Romaine Empire.
Why do communist hate bacon?
Because it’s from capitalist pigs.
Where do astronauts buy their milk? From the milky way!!!
What’s a potato’s favorite TV program? Starch Trek.
The doctor advised I tried a milk bath. I asked if it needs to be pasteurized. No, just above the knees she replied.
Strawberries are considered to be the most bullied fruits because they're always getting picked on.
My dad said he wanted to steal a pumpkin
but all the stores were well-gourded.
I just had the most manly craft beer at my Israeli restaurant.
It was called He-Brew.
What do you call a talkative drink? Chai Tea.
What do they do when the fruit educator is sick? They bring in a substitute peacher.
Dad: How does a farmer keep his cows in line?
Kids: How?
Dad: He keeps them a-cow-ntable!
The bread did not believe that he could work at his job much longer. He was feeling too crusty.
What do a pregnancy test and hummus have in common?
They both require a chickpea.
In Australia, they have a scary lemon dessert that keeps coming back.
They call it Boo-Meringue.
Did you hear about the pea pod that became damaged?
It had to wear a pod cast.
What is a hair stylist's favorite steak? A flat iron!
Why was Tony Soprano fat? Cause he thought getting a slice of the pie was a piece of cake.
What do you call a strawberry in math?
A berry-able.
How many grams of protein are in an apple pi? 3.14159265
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