Why did the orange come back after it was thrown in the garbage?
It was a boom-orange.
Have you heard of the garlic diet? You don't lose much weight, but from a distance your friends think you look thinner!
What do you call the greatest cheese to every live on the earth? Legen-dairy!
Why do cheeses make bad musicians?
They’re always sharp.
How do you make dog bread?
Just use collie flour.
What happens when you rub two oranges together?
You get Pulp Friction.
What do you call it when you walk into a coffee shop and feel like you've been there before? Déja-brew.
Onions are unable to store water inside them because there is always a leek.
What is a chillin' banana's favorite song?
Mellow Yellow!
When it comes to seasonal drinks, more and more are converting to the church of pumpkin spice,
but I choose to remain eggnogstic.
What do you find if you hang from a cherry tree for hours and hours? You find that your arms get sore.
Why do ice cream cones always carry an umbrella?
There’s a chance of sprinkles.
Why shouldn't you buy illegal seasonings? It's always a shady dill.
Why should you bake bacon on an asteroid on its way to Earth ?
It's meteor.
What type of nut do you find in the toilet?
A pee-nut.
Why did Oreo go to the dentist? …
Because he lost his filling!
My friends say that I cannot cook alphabet soup for this dinner. And now they are eating their words.
What is Whitney Houston's favorite kind of lettuce?
Ennnnnnndddiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiivvvee.
Q: Did you hear about the cherry that liked to explode?
A: It was da’ bomb.
Why are apples afraid to grow in the United States? Because they don't want to be as American as apple pie.
Did you hear about the flatmate who woke up to a spicy toothbrush? He had it cumin.
A farmer complained that he didn't have enough fruit to make a living.
I told him he needs to grow a pear.
Where do astronauts buy their milk? From the milky way!!!
So apparently coles has a new thing where you can only have one salad per transaction
They’re calling it coleslaw..
When she asked me if I like soup, I replied saying "I am crazy pho soups".
When does a hot dog have a close shave? At the barber-cue!
How does a robot eat it’s guacamole?
Microchips.
How do you spell banana? E, V, I, L. Do banana's drink coke or pepsi? Neither, they drink blood because they're evil.
hat did the pizza slicer say when he wanted to rob the pizza?
“Hand over the dough or I’ll cut you!”
What’s worse than finding a worm in your pear?
Finding half a worm.
Americans were preparing peach gelatos, to demonstrate it's right to freeze peach!
Don’t hang around booze hounds. They’re wine-y bitches.
Did you see the movie about the hot dog? It was an Oscar Wiener
The bag of flour was so confused.He thought that he saw his friend the loaf yeast-erday.
During the battle between the two onion kings, one of them was on the back foot as it was leek-ing blood.
What’s a nut’s favorite scary movie?
The Creature from the Black Legume.
What do all the onions decide to do over unfair wages? They decide to form a labor onion.
Q: What do you call an angry pea?
A: Grum-pea!
You have two cows, but only milk one. Your friend asks you…
"What about the udder one?"
Why didn't the unripe strawberry got any cards and chocolates for Valentine's Day? Because it was really sour.
How do comedians like their eggs?
Funny side up.
What do you tell your friend after she breaks up with a cheese lover?
You’re cheddar off without him!
What beer does everyone at the orphanage drink?
Foster's.
Q: What do you call a scary berry?
A: A boo-berry.
I spent last Christmas with a bunch of soft fruit. I kept getting confused with the toast – they were saying “Eat, drink and be cherry!”
I was gonna make a joke about Mediterranean food...
But hummus have missed the mark, and now I falafel.
This pizza party is the perfect topping to a great summer.
Why did the students eat their homework? Because the teacher said that it was a piece of cake.
I have so mushroom in my heart for you.
He ordered 6 vodkas, 6 beers and 6 lemonades. The bartender asked if he would like a tray.
"No I have enough to carry as it is."
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