The cow intestine dish was offal, but the pig organ tacos was grocer!
He is a humble husband. Unlike others, he never blows his crumpet after making breakfast for his wife everyday.
In Australia, they have a scary lemon dessert that keeps coming back.
They call it Boo-Meringue.
This year I'm carving my pumpkin to look like an intricate ball of rope, so it can be a gourd-ian knot.
The peach couple is in love. They seem to be born for peach other.
I was throwing oranges at tropical birds. One of them caught one then said: “Toucan play that game”
What does an ice cream lawyer say?
You got served.
When the unripe strawberry saw the ripe one, it was green with envy.
What did the ice-cream say to the unhappy birthday cake? "What's eating you?"
How did the Mother Banana spoil the Baby Banana? She left him out in the sun too long.
Why do ice cream cones make such good journalists?
They always get a scoop.
Peaches tend to be really mean. After all, they have hearts of stone.
How do hot dogs greet each other? They say “give me some skin!”
Why was the ketchup feeling bad?
Because it had the squirts.
What did the steak say to his enemy? I have a T-bone to pick with you!
What do you call a healthy dinosaur? Tea-Rex.
I’m zesting a lemon for a recipe right now
It’s really appealing
The onion teacher was teaching her onion students about figures of speech. Today, she was teaching onionomatopia.
I'm not saying you're old, but if you were milk I'd sniff you first.
What did the peanut say to the cashew after their argument?
Imma cashew outside!
What’s the best thing you can put in a halloween cookie? Your teeth.
What goes in dry and comes out wet. The longer I'm in, the stronger I get.
Q: Why is a carrot orange and pointy?
A: Because if it was green and round, it would be a pea!
Where did the onion find his family history?
In the archives
Why do pumpkins never quarrel? Because they have no stomach for fighting.
Why did the ice cream truck break down?
There was a rocky road.
What is a lions favourite cheese? Roar-quefort
How do you know when guacamole has gone bad?
When it turns guaca-moldy.
What do you call a talkative drink? Chai Tea.
What do potatoes become when they smoke weed?
Baked potatoes.
What do you get when you spice up date night? Netflix and Chilis.
The national news did a story on my friend's bumper crop of green citrus fruits.
He loves being in the limelight.
Why did the donut go to the dentist? It needed a filling!"
How do you describe a polite german lemon?
Bitte(r)
What's green and sour and swims in an aquarium?
A tro-pickle fish.
What do elephants drink on vacation?
Peanut coladas.
I was walking down the street when I stood on a banana.
Luckily, I was wearing my Slipknot t-shirt.
What song do young peaches love listening to? 'Papa don't peach'.
Why did the potato wear socks?
To keep his pota-toes warm.
"Back that glass up."
What's the difference between black eyed peas and chickpeas?
Black eyed peas can sing a tune, chickpeas can only hummus one.
What has 100 teeth and eats wieners? A zipper!
Vegetarians can't eat anything with beans in. They don't eat food with a pulse.
I think therefore I yam.
Why was Tony Soprano fat? Cause he thought getting a slice of the pie was a piece of cake.
If tomatoes are a fruit
Then ketchup is a smoothie.
What do you do if you see a blue banana? Try to cheer it up.
I once saw an onion that had been preserved for ages. It was an Egyptian onion.
Why is the baby strawberry crying?
Because its parents are jamming
I slept with a lemon once. Now I have lemonaids.
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