If you want day-old soup, then come back here tomorrow!
What do you call an emotionally unstable peanut? Peanut brittle
Mandy: Our teacher went on a special banana diet. Andy: Did she lose weight? Mandy: No, but she sure could climb trees well!
The two loaves of bread could not wait to stare through the delivery room window. They wanted to see their new bun-dle of joy.
A cow usually prefers to eat moo-sli for breakfast.
What time do ladies drink wine?
At Wine O'Clock.
What happens when no one comes to your birthday party?
You can have your cake and eat it too.
Why was the burger sad? Because he had the blue cheese.
Remind your kids not to overdo it on the pumpkin pie this time of year.
Or they might get autumn'y ache.
Woman’s Rejection: Sorry. I don’t date guys I pit-y
I don’t like mangoes. I asked my boyfriend if he thinks they’ll grow on me one day.
He said “I think they can. You just need to be watered properly.”
I had a meal recently that was made with ketchup and mustard.
It was delicious! My condiments to the chef!
What did the pineapple say to the pineapple chunk? Stay golden.
What do bread kids say during hide-and-seek?
Bready or not, here I crumb!
Onions are great gymnasts as they have the advantage of swinging on the onion rings.
What is ice cream’s preferred breed of dog?
Dashchundae.
Eating no meat except fish is really bothersome.
I should stop being a Pesky-tarian.
My mother told me to leave the peach cobbler alone on the table. But I couldn't help but watch the cobbler make the beautiful peach shoes.
I really like corn, but I can't find it because this time of year it's never in stalk
My mother says: “Leave that peach cobbler alone on the table!” However, I cannot help myself and sneak in to watch it making beautiful peach shoes.
How do the New England Patriots eat their soup? In a Super Bowl.
Beer doesn't make you fat
It makes you lean.
How good is a Coney Island gyro? Feta than se*.
The unripe strawberry wasn't added to the starting lineup of the game because he was too green.
What did the avocado say to the fork? “You guac my world.”
“Waiter, will my pizza be long?”
“No sir, it will be round!”
What do you call a pear with loose morals?
A prostifruit.
What does a pizza say when it wants to cuddle?
Fold me close.
What is a lion’s favorite cheese?
Roarquefort.
A berry funny strawberry candy is called a Laffy taffy.
What do you call a cow that doesn’t produce any milk? A milk dud!
What does the ginger bread man put on his bed? A cookie sheet.
Why did the monkey like the banana? Because it had appeal!
Where's a pickle's favorite place to go in London?
Pickle-dilly Square.
If you are wondering about the fuzziest character in the gaming world, well it is definitely Princess Peach.
Mom: Why did you shave the peaches!
Dad: The recipe asked for nectarines.
If you get an email about pork salt and fat, don't open it.
It's Spam.
What is ice cream’s favorite TV show?
Game of Cones.
What did the newspaper say to the ice cream? What's the scoop
Knock, knock! Who’s there? Banana. Banana who? Knock knock Who’s there? Banana. Banana who? Knock knock Who’s there? Orange. Orange who? Orange you glad I didn’t say banana?
Why was the ketchup feeling bad?
Because it had the squirts.
Q: Why couldn’t the orange believe that her friend had let her down?
A: This was because citrus-ted him!
What do you call a pastry that is a priest? A Holy Donut!
Have you heard about the chocolate box thief? He’s always got a few Twix up his sleeve.
What do you call it when you order the same donut every day?
A do-rut!
What is a cowboy’s favorite tree?
A horse chestnut tree.
Why shouln’t you rub avocado in your eyes?
You might get guacoma.
I tried calling my fruit friend thrice, but could not peach him, as his phone was out of peach.
When the egg saw the pan, it was terri-fried.
Q: What made the green pea turn red?
A: It saw the salad dressing.
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