Why did the blonde buy a brown cow? To get chocolate milk.
Where did the milk write everything about her life? In her dairy.
Why are bread puns the greatest? They never grow mold.
Having chicken broth before the game was a sure shot way to maintain energy for the Soup-er Bowl.
What do you call an epileptic in a vegetable garden Seizure salad
The peach was late for work because it had to make some pit stops on the way.
Boy: Oh I can't believe that Jesus is so sweet! Girl: Well that's because He's a life saver!
Q: What video games do fruits play?
A: Peach ball.
What did the cow say to his friend when they met twice in the same day? “What a cow-incidence!”
What do you call a very tall cherry blossom tree in Italy? The leaning flower of Pisa.
A strawberry screamed at the other, "Were it not that ripe, we wouldn't have ended up in this jam."
If you can't get Swine Flu from eating bacon what can you get? A1: Obesity A2: Heart Disease A3: Hardening of the Arteries.
Why couldn’t the cheese sleep?
He was scared there was a munster under the bed.
When do franks tell insults? At a wienie roast!
I told my kids that ketchup can go on anything.
You know, It’s the least condiment denominator.
What kind of cheese makes the best music?
Brieoncé.
Why didn’t the peach do well on its ACT? Because when it comes to education, it only gets a little STEM.
Why couldnt the pumpkin have kids?
He had a halloweener.
Subway - Lettuce know how we did.
What kind of chips do you eat in the bath?
Shower cream and onion.
Why could I not imagine to have milk in the afternoon? Because it was beyond my wildest creams.
The soup was busy and preoccupied. He was stewing over something his friend said.
What did the arrogant pickle say?
I'm kind of a big dill.
You say "easy peasy lemon squeezy"
... but I prefer "depressed stressed lemon zest."
Did you hear about the guy who put little G.I. Joe soldiers at the bottom of his coffee cup?
He’d heard that the best part of waking up is soldiers in your cup!
What is a lions favourite cheese? Roar-quefort.
My wife misplace the sugar with the salt in her sugar cookies.
It was sodium disgusting.
When everyone agreed with Hulk at breakfast that they love waffles more, he said, "Not all heroes wear crepes."
I’m opening a grocery store that specializes in Swiss cheese and donuts.
I’m calling it Hole Foods.
Knock knock!
Who’s there? Doughnut. Doughnut Who? Doughnut forget to close the door!
What do you call juice with no ice in it?
Ju.
You spilled your entire cup of coffee? What's sumatra with you?
What do you call a group of men waiting for a haircut? A barbercue.
Why do cherry trees smell?
Because George Washington cut one.
Where was the first donut cooked?
In Greece.
What did the oreo cookie say to his filling? You’re my butter half.
You're about half as likely to die from a vegetable pun as you artichoke.
Did you hear about the elusive skating watermelon thief? Not really, the only description they got was a Caucasian melon wheels.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Peanut.
Peanut who?
Peanut butter open the door!
What's the difference between French fries and orange juice?
You can make orange juice out of orange, but not French fries out of French
What is an elf's favorite kind of birthday cake? Shortcake!
"Giving you more reasons to wine."
Fruit puns intended
Does he avacado? Because If not you should let that mango.
Our daughter eats her corn one kernel at a time.
She's a unicorn.
What did the waitress say to the customer who wanted free guacamole?
“You can kiss my Hass.“
Is it bad to swallow a cherry whole? No don't worry, it's just one of the pitfalls of life.
The old and wise onion had once told me that life is similar to onions. Whenever we peel off our protective layers, we end up crying.
When my friend Frank died, his body was cremated and his ashes were placed in a decorative German beer tankard.
Now he's Frank in stein.
I switched labels in my wife's spice cabinet.
She hasn't noticed, but the thyme is cumin.
Why do workers at the dairy factory always need a charger? Their milk is stuck at 1%.
Go to BabaMail
