Why did the cheese shop owner finally quit the business?
He was tired of the daily rind.
All the peanuts decided to start a social nutwork where they would all link up for a common good and even advocate for their rights.
What is the name of the onion ring that cannot but be funny? It is a Funyon!
What do you call solid gold bananas? A bunch of money.
What do they say when you leave the cheese store?
Have a gouda day!
A bowl of salad went to church
Lettuce pray.
What candy is only for girls? HER-SHEy's Kisses!
What does a surprised pumpkin say?
OH MY GOURD!
Did you hear about the CEO that got fired at the dairy farm? He was skimming a little bit off the top.
Why did the cookie monster rob the keebler elves? Because they had a lot of dough.
What do you do with epileptic lettuce? You make a seizure salad!
What do you get if a chicken lays an egg on top of a barn?
An eggroll.
What happened when the butcher backed up into the meat grinder? He got a little behind in his work!
What do you call a pair of cornstalks that are best friends?
Ear buds!
What do you call a hot dog with nothing inside it? A “hollow-weenie!”
Why did the orange get pulled over while driving?
He kept peeling out.
Q: What do vegetables wish for, more than anything else in the whole world?
A: Peas on earth!
During World War 2, sending food to the troops was a challenge. Researchers had to concentrate to figure out how to send orange juice.
What did the deer say to each other when they were trying to solve a difficult problem? This is such a deer-lemma!
What do you call an onion that carries electromagnetic waves? A photonion.
If fish is a type of brain food, then dumb people probably love eating noodle soup.
Did you hear about the pear that fell off of the tree and fell to its death?
The damage was irreparable.
Did you hear about the watermelon who starred in a telanovella?
“It was melondramatic.”
I met a chicken once; she was desperate to join a band. She even had her own drumsticks.
What is a pirate’s favorite cheese?
Ched-arrrrgh!
Why isn’t the tomato a vegetable?
It couldn’t catch up.
Let's pumpkin spice things up a bit
Why did the birthday cake go to the doctor?
Because it was feeling crumby!
What is a cow's favorite lunch meat? Bullogna
What did the annoyed peach say to the mango?
Man-go away!
What was the watermelon’s naughty pick-up line?
“Want to see my melons?”
What is a chocolate covered car called?
A Ferrari Rocher
When can a pizza marry a hot dog? After a very frank relationship.
How do little avocados get what they want?
They spread it on thick.
Can I have some of your avocado?
GUAC NO! I give zero guacs! You need to guac off!
What do you get if you cross a jogger with an apple pie ? Puff pastry !
What kind of wine do they serve at the horse races?
Chardon-neigh!
Why do baby seals swim in salt water? Cause pepper water makes them sneeze.
You are the best, I feel so peachy when I am with you!
When do you put paprika on eggs? Fry-Day.
What does a cherry say when it delivers bad news? Don't fruit the messenger.The Peach President lost the presidential race because he got im-peached.
How did Burger King get Dairy Queen Pregnant? He forgot to wrap his whopper!
“How was your day? ” “It was a total disas-tater”
How old was the cave man on his birthday?
Stone Age.
Why did the wheel act so bossy? Cause he was the "Big Cheese."
Why did the tomato turn red? It saw the salad dressing!
"Scone be a lot of fun. Wheat love for you to join us."
What do you calla watermelon that just won’t stop committing crimes? A watefelon.
What kind of cake do you get at a cafeteria?
A stomach-cake!
Why was red in awe of orange?
“Because orange blue green.”
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