What does a mommy cherry say to her children? I love you cherry much.
Why did the cheese get in trouble?
It was up to no gouda.
What did one orange say to its friend telling a wild story?
“That’s un-peel-ievalbe!”
Who is the most powerful potato? Darth Tater.
What's green and wears a cape?
Super Pickle.
A strawberry feels most comfortable in its py-jam-as.
If you are wondering about the most important constitutional right of a peach citizen, well, it's none other than freedom of peach.
I spent last Christmas with a bunch of soft fruit. I kept getting confused with the toast – they were saying “Eat, drink and be cherry!”
Kid: Dad, why don’t you approve of the consumption of dairy products?
Dad: Because I was raised lactose intolerant.
I’ve got a great idea for an automatic orange peeling machine I hope it bares fruit.
What did the banana do when he saw a monkey? The banana split!
What do you call a potato that has turned to the dark side? Vader tots!
Which word can be used to describe a peach that is surprised, shocked, or angry with strong emotion? – Speachless!
We're like three peas in a pod, but lately I feel left out. It's making me quite unhap-pea.
Q: Why did the orange cross the road?
A: Because everyone thought he was a chicken.
What do you call a self-obsessed egg?
An eggomaniac.
Which religious figure does dairy products worship? Cheese-us!
I walked into the kitchen and saw my wife chopping onions which made me cry
Onions was a good dog
What kind of tea did the American colonists want? Liberty.
What do dogs love to eat for breakfast?
woofles
Never tell a taco a secret
It will spill the beans
What do you call the guy who chooses a suitable fortified Spanish wine?
A Sherry Picker.
Why was the sweet potato too shy to ask out the russet potato? Because he was a real spud.
My banana grandad got in an accident last year, he bruised like a peach!
What do you call the king of vegetables? Elvis Parsley.
Did you hear about the pick-up artist who only ever wears green leaves on his head? Yeah, he’s definitely a pineapple smoothie.
Why does Mr. Potato Head have a mobile?
In case Mr. Onion rings.
What is the easiest way to make a banana split? Cut it in half.
Don't be a jerk-o-lantern
Why don't bananas snore?
Because they don't want to wake up the rest of the bunch.
What did one hummus say to the other hummus
“Sabra.”
How is coffee better than a woman?
It goes down way easier.
My mother says: “Leave that peach cobbler alone on the table!” However, I cannot help myself and sneak in to watch it making beautiful peach shoes.
To the person who has been eating all of my mixed nuts.
I'm going to cashew.
Why do ice cream cones always carry an umbrella?
There’s a chance of sprinkles.
Whenever I feel like wining, I remind myself to put a cork in it.
There’s this corn on the cob stand that I really like, but it started making ads
They were really corny.
What did the pizza say when it asked the topping out on a date?
I never sausage a beautiful face.
I am going bananas. Thats what i say to my bananas before i leave the house
Why should you make a cherry pie for someone that you miss? Because absence bakes the heart grow fonder.
What did the boy say when his mom made him prepare the corn for supper?
This shucks!
You're about half as likely to die from a vegetable pun as you artichoke.
What do u get from a perverted apple? Hard Cider.
What do you call an onion who decides to be very eco-friendly in its approach? You name it a green onion.
I made a pie with a can of peas in. Pea-can pie. It didn't taste how I imagined.
The fruit started to stutter as it was suffering from peach deterioration.
The butcher’s life was at steak when the meat market caught fire.
Knock, knock
Who’s there? CIA CIA, who? CI ate your last doughnut!
What does a priest put on his salad?
Lettuce spray.
Where do eggs go on holiday?
New Yolk.
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