What did the judge say at the finale of the meat throwing competition? The steaks have never been higher!
What did the salt say when the phosphate asked to bond with it?
"NaCl ater."
I can’t help but laugh a little when I see a pun about chocolate bars… snickers
How should you bury an onion?
... in a shallot grave!
What do you find when you swallow peas whole?
Inner peas
How did the cheese professor start class every day?
Oh queso…
This foundation is rock salad.
What kind of pizza do you order on Christmas?
Cheeses Crust.
Party Host: Would you like to try some mulled wine?
Party Guest: I'll have to think it over...
What's the manliest fruit to eat?
Mango.
"Darling, shall we buy some vegetables for tonight?"
"Yes, lettuce!"
What do you call a pine-nut in an apple costume? A pine-apple.
How do eggs get around?
On a s-egg-way.
Why do donuts hate puns so much?
They donut like to joke around!
How does Moses make coffee?
Hebrews it.
Q: What do you call a scary berry?
A: A boo-berry.
If you are wondering about a peach's favorite game, it's peach ball.
If you coriander into my tomato soup, you will give me a soup-herb dish.
I thought about making a new condiment that was a mixture of Ketchup and Mustard.
But then I decided the name KetchTard would be pretty MustUp.
What did the orange say before he started his new job?
“The zest is yet to come!”
A truck with an entire load of strawberries has crashed on the motorway. It's caused a real traffic jam.
I went to see a beet poet the other day. There were lots of hip peas there.
What do you get when if you cross a potato and the terminator?
A termitator.
What do you call a melon that commits a crime?
“A water-fellon!”
What do you call a chicken staring at lettuce?
Chicken sees a salad.
What did the orange do the night before the exam?
He put his nose to the “g-rind-stone” and read the entire textbook.
Why did the donut go to the dentist? It needed a filling!"
Q: Why did the cherry stop in the middle of the road?
A: It ran out of juice.
What is the name of the dancing chocolate bar?
Nestle Crunk bar.
What should you drink before you workout? Sweat-Tea.
My mother told me to leave the peach cobbler alone on the table. But I couldn't help but watch the cobbler make the beautiful peach shoes.
What is a cannibal's favourite cheese? Limburger
When can a pizza marry a hot dog? After a very frank relationship.
What cheese should you use to hide a horse? Mascarpone.
What kind of fish is only made of salt.
A tu-na.
What do red berries say during the season they love best? Cherry Christmas and a Happy New Year!
What did the Mexican heavy metal guitarist say to his bandmates?
“Rock out with your guac out.”
"You're the wine that I want."
What does a pizza wear to smell good?
Calzogne.
If you are wondering about a peach's favorite video game, well it's definitely 'Super Princess Peach'.
What do fruits look for at a talent show? A berry that can really cherry a tune.
You and I make a deluxe combo.
What does a caped monkey superhero drive?
A banana-mobile.
What do you say happened to an onion who got what it deserved? You say it got karma-lized.
My wife just started an all-fruit diet.
There was enough food to make a mango crazy.
Why does everyone invite ice cream to the party?
It’s cool.
I squeezed a lemon on my wife's lap two hours ago...
She's been a sourpuss about it ever since.
What is a chocolate covered car called?
A Ferrari Rocher
What excuse did the late watermelon give his boss? He said be there in 5 boss, I’m just rind the corner.
I allow myself only one donut per year.
This morning I had 433 B.C., 1731, and 1952.
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