Why shouldn’t you take corn on an airplane?
Your ears will pop!
What does a cat lady say on Friday night?
I am drinking wine and feline fine!
What kind of tea does Billy like?
Ability.
What do you call a baby potato? Tater tots!
The doctor advised I tried a milk bath. I asked if it needs to be pasteurized. No, just above the knees she replied.
What is the best part of Valentine’s day?
The day after, when all the chocolate goes on sale.
What was the main job of the bread truck? To haul buns.
What is a vampire’s favorite fruit?
A blood orange.
What kind of candy makes fun of you? Tootsie Trolls.
What does a cheese say when they look in the mirror in the morning?
Halloumi.
What is a potato’s life philosophy? I think, therefore I yam.
What do you call two male avocados who hang out and drink together?
Avocabros.
Why don't cows have any money? Because farmers milk them dry
What do you get with surprise peas?
Wet legs
Why doesn’t anyone invite an ice cream cone to their party?
They’re a drip.
A turkey's favorite dessert is a strawberry gobbler.
What happened to the football team that practiced in a corn field?
They got creamed!
The strawberry was very good at racing because he was always juiced up before a race.
What do strawberries wear to bed?
Jammies!
Where were the first orange trees planted?
“In Orange County.”
Why does bread hate hot weather?
It just feels too toasty.
The only thing that looks like half a strawberry is the other half.
hat did the pizza slicer say when he wanted to rob the pizza?
“Hand over the dough or I’ll cut you!”
He says to the doctor, "Help me Doc, what's the matter with me?"
The doctor replies, "That's easy. You're not eating properly."
Hap-pea-ness is when you and your friend are like two peas in a pod.
I'm going to start a hummus brand that comes in really difficult to open containers.
It's gonna be called 'hummus posta eat this'.
What cheese cries the most?
Babybel.
I burnt my Hawaiian pizza.
I should have used aloha temperature.
A farmer complained that he didn't have enough fruit to make a living.
I told him he needs to grow a pear.
Who tells the best egg jokes?
Comedi-hens.
What happened when one friend forgot to brew her pal a coffee? Their friendship came to a bitter end.
A young slice of bread came up to his crush. He told her that he was really falling in loaf with her.
Have you heard the one about the lemon cat?
It was a real sour puss.
What do you call a socialite made of cheese?
Paris Stilton.
A cow usually prefers to eat moo-sli for breakfast.
The big play is in seven days, you better work on your peach enhancement techniques.
What did the pickle say when he was told he was going in to a salad?
I relish the thought.
This foundation is rock salad.
I invited a turkey over for dinner. He was very late for dinner – when I asked him about it, he said he was busy getting dressed.
What do you call a very tall cherry blossom tree in Italy? The leaning flower of Pisa.
How do you get a Minecraft themed party started? Let them eat cake.
Strawberries are considered to be the most bullied fruits because they're always getting picked on.
What's an egg's favorite movie?
Over Easy Rider.
HELP! It's a taco emergency!
Dial 9 Juan Juan!
What do dairy products say when they make a basketball shot? Colby!
What do you get when you spill soup on a comic book? Souperman.
Why did the butchers meating end soon? Because one of them started beef.
What were the cheese’s wedding vows?
To havarti and to hold.
Why did the hipster burn his tongue? Because he ate his soup before it was cool.
Q: What do you call an angry pea?
A: Grum-pea!
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