What did the expired milk say after being picked up way past its due date? It was well beyond their wildest creams.
What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef!
How did that avocado baker make bread?
With avoca-dough.
Last time I was in France I wanted to ask a question about strawberries
But I wasn't sure how to fraise it.
I like European food so I decided to Russia over there because I was Hungary. After Czech'ing the menu I ordered Turkey. When I was Finnished I told the waiter 'Spain good but there is Norway I could eat another bite'.
What did mama bread say to her kids?
It’s way past your breadtime!
Why didn’t the pecan go to the ballet?
It was afraid of the nutcracker.
What happened to the pig who liked pineapple? He turned into a porky-pine!
Did you know, you can actually hide a gigantic elephant in a cherry tree? All you need to do is paint its toenails red. I bet you don’t believe me – but have you ever seen an elephant in a cherry tree? I rest my case.
When the mama peach found out that his child had failed his class, she was s-peach-less.
Why couldn’t the teddy bear finish his dessert?
Cause he was stuffed.
I've been hitting the bottle pretty hard recently.
Still can't get the last of that ketchup out.
Why did one melon break up with the other melon?
“He didn’t know water problem was.”
What did the artichoke say to the man eating a salad? Have a heart.
Why did the two slices of bread disappear in the middle of the night? They wanted to e-loaf together.
How do playful monkeys go down the stairs?
They slide down the banana-ster!
Why do cherry trees smell?
Because George Washington cut one.
The local baker keeps punching his doughy friend because he wants to get a rise out of him.
What do you call the onions which are small and yellow and very naughty? You call it a minonion!
"Alcohol you later."
What do lawyers snack on?
Plea-nuts.
The best punishment to give orange kids is getting them canned. This is the only way to prevent them from going bad.
What did the tortilla chip say to the avocado when the dip bowl was empty?
“We’ve hit guac bottom!”
What does the watermelon say to its girlfriend on Valentine’s Day? – “You are one in a melon!”
I went to an English camping party with some vegetables. We stayed in a tea-pea.
I don’t wanna taco ‘bout it
What a spud muffin.
How do eggs get around?
On a s-egg-way.
What do people with ambition drink? Loft-Tea.
It is a great idea to ask peaches to make your shoes. After all, they make excellent cobblers.
Fake ramen noodles are also called the impasta.
This Halloween I'm gourd out of my mind!
Onions are great gymnasts as they have the advantage of swinging on the onion rings.
What did the salad lover say to his girlfriend?
You will Romaine in my heart forever.
What’s the difference between coffee and your opinion?
I asked for coffee.
How does a cheese tell you they want to be with you?
“I think you and I would look gouda together.”
Cherries go all out when they go to festivals. You’ll probably see loads of them, running around in pie-dyed shirts.
The forecast said that we’re in for a hot summer; better make sure I watermelon everyday or else the yard will dry up.
What do you get if you cross an apple with a shellfish? A crab apple !
What do you get when your dog jumps into the fire pit? A hot dog.
I got arrested for the way I eat corn.
They charged me with a salt and buttery.
Did you hear about the watermelon who starred in a telanovella?
“It was melondramatic.”
Why do kids love to clean out the cookie jar for Halloween? To make room for Halloween candy.
The sweet potato asked the other potato : “How are my eyes? ”
Ladies, if he can't appreciate your fruit jokes, you need to let that mango.
Why did the wheel act so bossy? Cause he was the "Big Cheese."
Wholey-grain! You really bread my mind!
What did the duck eat for lunch? Soup and Quackers.
Q: What do you call two peas in a pod?
A: Peepee.
What do you call an onion that is very sick and has a high temperature? It is a boiling onion.
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