What happens to a nervous nut?
It cracks.
On my farm, an entire lot of onions had some allergic reactions that broke out in chives!
What is the recipe for Honeymoon Salad? Lettuce alone without dressing.
Why did the orange go to the doctor? He wasn’t peeling well.
Hey you like cherry preserves ?
Never mind, its probably not your jam
How do playful monkeys go down the stairs?
They slide down the banana-ster!
Why did the cow and the bull become so close? Because they became beef-friends.
Peaches tend to be really mean. After all, they have hearts of stone.
Which nut is the best at playing tag?
Catch-yous aka cashews.
Sir, did you realize the consequences of naming your son Taco Cheese?
"No, but I have grate expectations."
Q: What is a peach’s favorite book?
A: War and Peach
I keep thinking I'll make breakfast pancakes, but I end up waffling.
What do you get when you cross a smurf and a cow?
Blue cheese.
"Is that a yay or cabernet?"
My doctor recommended exercise to slim down as well as some orange juice for vitamins
It’s the weight and C approach I guess.
When an unripe strawberry saw the ripe strawberry, it went green with envy.
If you want to ask someone to borrow their peas, you have to say pea-lease.
I replaced the milk in the carton with lemon juice. Everyone was really sour about it.
Why did the orange get insurance?
Zest in case.
I'm the pun King of Halloween.
He was showing off his new gaming gadget, "it has the latest peach recognition technology" he said.
Do you know why do the hipsters burn their tongue? It is because they eat their soup before it gets cool.
I burnt my Hawaiian pizza.
I should have used aloha temperature.
How did the cheese get such curly hair?
It got a permasan.
Why did the orange fall out of the tree?
It went out on a limb.
How many peaches can you fit inside two cans? It depends how big the Toucans are and if they eat peaches.
Why are lemons safer than limes?
There’s no such thing as lemon’s disease.
When the baby onion died just after being born, the doctors classified it as an o-neonatal death.
What is the executioner’s favorite vegetable?
A head of lettuce.
Why do wookies love chocolate chip cookies? Because they are chewy.
If you search for pictures of corn on Google you'll only get stalk pictures.
What if someone made raisins with juice in them
That would be grape.
What candy is only for girls? HER-SHEy's Kisses!
Why does a cow hate artificial milk? Because the substance is pow-dairy.
Q: What’s a nectarine?
A: A peach with balding problems.
What kind of party is held in a cornfield?
A cornball!
During the summer break, I enrolled myself in a peach coding course.
What do you call a nut on a Wheelchair?
“A busted nut.”
What do you call Chewbacca when you have chocolate stuck in your hair?
chocolate chip wookiee.
Why didn't the two worms go into Noah's ark in an apple? Because everyone had to go in pairs !
How do you make a mango shake?
You take it to a scary movie.
What’s fat, hairy and drinks a lot of coffee?
Java the Hut!
What do you call a pear who plays the trumpet? A tooty fruity.
Did you hear about the guy who forgot to use the colander when making mac and cheese?
His wife gave him a restraining order.
What did the coffees say before their night out? Let's stir up some trouble.
How do you make an apple turnover? Push it down hill.
Knock Knock.
Who’s there? Donut. Donut who? Donut ask, it’s a secret!
Why would the fruits beat the vegetables?
They have a better punch.
My wife won't let me become a bean farmer. Why won't she just let me work in peas!
Do not be sad because of these bad words. You are always a fineapple in my heart.
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