Why did the orange stop rolling down the hill? It ran out of juice.
What do elephants drink on vacation?
Peanut coladas.
When is a birthday cake like a golf ball?
When it’s been sliced.
I hear you like wine, too. Grape minds think alike.
Why do Communists only drink herbal tea? Because proper tea is theft.
Where do vegetables keep their money?
In the credit onion.
I don't know what happened, but the moment I brought the onion into the kitchen, everything got rejuvenated, and everything started feeling fresh! Guess this really is a spring onion.
How do you get a raise at the bread factory?
Butter up your boss.
In a romantic date, Romeo says to Juliette “Baby! You are the pineapple of my eyes!”
Whats the name of the movie about Bacon? Frankenswine, or you can go see Hamlet.
A motivated nut is a pecan. Because pe-can do anything.
A pickle store is giving out their new tea-flavored pickles on the street today
I tried some and I guess they tasted quite a-tea-pickle.
What happens to a cherry tree when it grows up? It blossoms.
A major produce organization is reeling after multiple reports of tainted lettuce.
We may soon witness the falling of the Romaine Empire.
What do you get when you hghyphotocopy fruit?
Paper jam.
When should you go on a cheese diet? If you need to cheddar a few pounds
They were building a meat tower next door.
The steaks just kept getting higher.
What do you call a small Subaru car covered in road salt?
An Impretzel!
Why would an oreo cookie need to visit a dentist? To get a filling replacement.
What do you call two cookies from the same cookie sheet who fall in love? A batch made in heaven.
Why did the thief steal a pig? Because he was a hamburglar.
So, how on earth did the police catch the watermelon thief without a solid description? Don’t really know; guess the bloke was acting seedy.
Who is the most powerful potato? Darth Tater.
What would a pineapple say to a pineapple pie? You have some crust.
The veggie lover was a total stalk-er.
What kind of beer can you make from a potato?
Spud Light.
The soup that my mom made for dinner healed my flu in a day. It was almost soup-er natural.
I mashed a few mangoes, pineapples, melons, strawberries, and grapes into a 🍲. Served the mash to guests visiting my place.
Called the dish, Mea Pulpa.
Did you hear about the man who used to be addicted to eating raw meat? Don't worry, he's cured now!
Did you hear about the love affair between sugar and cream?
It was icing on the cake.
My father loves eating reams of soup. That is the reason why I think he should be nominated to the Soup – ream – court!
He was showing off his new gaming gadget, "it has the latest peach recognition technology" he said.
The mother helped her child bake bread because it was a labor of loaf. True enough.
What did one cheese say to the other during philosophy class?
“I dis a brie.”
What is a scarecrow’s favorite fruit?
Strawberries.
I replaced the milk in the milk carton with lemon juice.
People were really sour about it.
What did the vicar use for his vegetable patch?
Lettuce spray.
Why did the slice of bread leave her boyfriend? She thought that he was just too knead-y.
When soup feels strained and stressed, where would it go? – A broth-el!
What did Snow White call her chicken?
Egg White.
You know I always wanted to open my own sandwich shop. I would have all the meat and bread money could buy...
Problem was I was afraid something would go a rye
Why do we put candles on top of a birthday cake?
Because it’s too hard to put them on the bottom!
Did you hear that the Lemon and the Orange divorced?
The Lemon was very bitter.
Why does a little cherry always look up to its parents? It tries to follow in their fruitsteps.
“We are experiencing slight tuber-lence on the flight”
Why did the peach think he was a pear for a while? He was feeling awfully green at first, but eventually his face became red.
What is the name of the dancing chocolate bar?
Nestle Crunk bar.
I recently heard on the news that due to newly detected fungus infection in the onions, the government was recalling all the recent packages of the vegetables. Despite being a farmer, I had no tears to shed over this.
Q: What kind of desserts does a turkey like?
A: Peach gobbler.
What's the difference between French fries and orange juice?
You can make orange juice out of orange, but not French fries out of French
The big play is in seven days, you better work on your peach enhancement techniques.
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