Chuck berry was undoubtedly the greatest rock and roll strawberry.
What do you call a Vegetarian with diarrhea? A Salad Shooter.
What is John Lennon's favorite donut? Strawberry' Filled Forever.'
Why would an oreo cookie need to visit a dentist? To get a filling replacement.
What do you call two cookies from the same cookie sheet who fall in love? A batch made in heaven.
I have been trying to write a new pizza joke…
But I can’t work out the delivery.
I once attended the saddest watermelon funeral I’ve ever been to. I gotta say, I’ve never seen anything so meloncholy in my life.
Be careful! Theres a deadly fruit on the loose
He has 7 charges of armed Strawbbery.
How many grams of protein are in an apple pi? 3.14159265
Why should you always bring a bag of tortilla chips to a party?
In queso emergency.
Why did the cookie cry? Because his mother was a wafer so long! Why do we cook bacon and bake cookies?
What do you call it when you order the same donut every day?
A do-rut!
What is a lion’s favorite cheese?
Roarquefort.
She was a little hesitant to try the new caramel flavor, but she decided to give it a shot, anyway.
What do you call a cow with no legs at all? Ground beef
I had this disturbingly long dream that I was making a salad.
I was tossing all night.
What do you call a rifle that shoots salt?
A salt rifle.
“How was your day? ” “It was tater-ible”
The pineapple is pining for the summer.
What does a pizza wear to smell good?
Calzogne.
What do they serve at birthday parties in heaven? Angel food cake, of course!
People really liked the new king's coronation day peach. He truly deserves the throne.
What do you call a baby lion on lettuce?
Cub Salad.
What's the difference between a pickle and a psychiatrist?
If you don't know, you ought to stop talking to your pickle!
Michelle Obama’s favorite vegetable? Barack-oli.
Who were the first cheese lovers ever?
Edam and Eve.
There’s a suspicious email going around, with the subject line “Canned meat.” Don’t open it, it’s spam!
Why did the baker keep putting too much flour in the bread? Because he was a gluten for punishment.
What did the boy say when his mom made him prepare the corn for supper?
This shucks!
Don't be a jerk-o-lantern
They fired the loaf of bread from her job. They say that she kept breaking down and would rye on the job.
I had fresh coconut the last time I went to Hawaii. It’s a tough nut to crack.
Tea pun-packed poem for my mum's birthday card
It’s been oolong time since my mum was born,
About Six-tea years to date,
Chai as you might, you can’t possible list,
her cupious amazing traits
Her balanced demeanour
Her Kindness and (earl) grace,
rooibost sense of humour,
too many to name in this teany space,
to pekoe out just a few does not do her justice,
let’s not stir things up and cause more of a ruckus,
While this ode may be (chamo)miles away from a Maya Angelou,
It’s just an obnoxious way to say how very matcha I love you.
Why are cherries unassuming? Because they often get made into humble pie.
Why did the butchers meating end soon? Because one of them started beef.
I recently got told ketchup doesn't actually use tomatoes
But I can't find a reliable sauce on that.
What do you call young avocados?
Avokiddos.
What do you call half a head of lettuce?
The Romaine-der.
How do you describe an onion which is in its early stages after birth? You say it is in its onion-ic period of its life.
Why are pickles in sandwiches always so polite?
They're well-bread.
I can’t help but laugh a little when I see a pun about chocolate bars… snickers
What did mama bread say to her kids?
It’s way past your breadtime!
Why does every watermelon want to be in the Guinness book of records? Because there’s a lot of watermelon smashing to be done.
Why do watermelons take such a long time to make decisions?
“They’re always melon it over.”
Q: Why could the fruits not see anything?
A: It was peach black there.
The veggie lover was a total stalk-er.
What’s the best thing you can put in a halloween cookie? Your teeth.
I walked into the kitchen and saw my wife chopping onions which made me cry
Onions was a good dog
Be like a pineapple: wear a crown, stand tall, and be always sweet on the inside.
If you are wondering about the most important constitutional right of a peach citizen, well, it's none other than freedom of peach.
Basketball players always drop cookies into their milk.
That way, it's a slam dunk.
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