What did the daddy potato say to his son before his soccer game? I’m rooting for you!
What did the farmer yell out when ducks invaded his dairy farm? Cheese and crackers!
A never-ending natural supply of beer?
Hops springs eternal.
Hap-pea-ness is when you and your friend are like two peas in a pod.
My favorite fruit is the pear.
Because if you have two and you eat one, you still have a pear left.
Where do Eskimos keep their eggs?
In the egg-loo.
What kind of apple isn't an apple? A pineapple. What did the apple say to the apple pie? "You've got some crust."
“We are experiencing slight tuber-lence on the flight”
Why didn’t the peach do well on its ACT? Because when it comes to education, it only gets a little STEM.
I went into the library and asked for pint of milk. The librarian said 'this is a library'. So i whispered 'I'd like a pint of milk please'.
What did the two onions who were lovers say to each other before being separated? "Our love will forever go-nion on!"
How did the vineyard launch the new champagne making business?
They crashed a small boat into it.
I recently read a book by an onion which had opened up on its life. Midway through the book, I started crying.
What do you call a spinning potato? A rotate-o.
I cut a dill with this spicy mami, but at the last minute she ginger mind.
Do you know why does your mother often shave a peach when cooking? Because she only needs nectarines for the recipe.
Do you know why a pineapple can be a good observer? Because it has a lot of eyes around its body.
What happened to the criminal magician who ate to much salt?
Cardiac arrest.
What do they serve at birthday parties in heaven?
Angel food cake, of course!
Why does the Pope love Swiss cheese so much?
It’s hole-y.
What did man say to the guacamole?
Avocado crush on you.
A young slice of bread came up to his crush. He told her that he was really falling in loaf with her.
What kind of party is held in a cornfield?
A cornball!
Why did the worker get fired from the orange juice factory?
“Lack of concentration.”
What do you see at a funeral for a piece of fruit? Apple-bearer.
When the unripe strawberry saw the ripe one, it was green with envy.
What did one cheese say to the other during philosophy class?
“I dis a brie.”
What do you call fraudulent milk? Cow-nterfeit.
What is the difference between pea soup and roast beef? Everyone would roast beef.
What did one bread lover say to the other?
Before I break down and rye, I want you to know that I loaf you.
Why do kids love to clean out the cookie jar for Halloween? To make room for Halloween candy.
The other day I asked an Alaskan guy if he wanted to eat some seal meat.
He wasn’t really inuit
If you put ice cream on the nutty brownie, you’re serving it ala-mond.
What's a cow's favorite moosical note? Beef-flat
Did you hear about the new watermelon powered cars set to come out next year? Yeah, it’s too bad you only get a water-melon the gallon.
Why don't bananas snore? Because they don't want to wake up the rest of the bunch.
Pizza: the only time top-less isn't fun
Why couldn’t the cheese sleep?
He was scared there was a munster under the bed.
What do you call a pig that can tell you about his ancestors? History in the bacon.
How do you make a milkshake? Give a cow a pogo stick.
What is the executioner’s favorite vegetable?
A head of lettuce.
Why didn’t the mom peanut give her children a nutty chocolate bar? Because the sugar makes them bounce off the wal-nuts.
What do politicans need to drink? Honest-Tea.
What's a pickle's life philosophy?
Never a dill moment.
How do you know it’s cold outside? When you milk a brown cow you get
chocolate ice cream.
What do you call it when a taco stands in your way ?
An obs-taco
What do they say when you leave the cheese store?
Have a gouda day!
What should you drink before you workout? Sweat-Tea.
What do you call a pastry that is a priest? A Holy Donut!
If you coriander into my tomato soup, you will give me a soup-herb dish.
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