Hey you like cherry preserves ?
Never mind, its probably not your jam
I made some fish tacos last night....
But they just ignored them and swam away.
I'm going to tell you all a story about strawberries.....
Once a punnet time....
Grandma: Do you like Hummus? Me: I love Hummus....and I sometimes like to singus!
Me: "Alexa check my bank balance and tell me which apple product can I buy?"
Alexa- "Apple juice."
What’s the National Donut Day theme song?
“Donut Stop Believing.”
Did you hear about the Italian chef with the terminal illness?
He pastaway. Now he’s just a pizza history.
What do you call fake ramen noodles? An impasta.
Where was the first donut cooked?
In Greece.
The pecan is ready to come out of its’ shell and see the world.
If Megan Fox is a cake, then what is Amanda Bynes? A fruitcake.
Mom: Did you watch the movie with the little pumpkins?
Dad: I stopped it early because it was too gourdy for me.
What did the fans say to the band named after a famous chickpea spread?
Hummus a tune.
Tony, where do I even starch? I yam so happy we’re best spuds!
My bag of fruit snacks had all grapes
Today’s gonna be a grape day!
On what radio station would you hear Bob Dill-on?
Vlasic rock.
Who wrote the book "Great Egg-spectations"?
Charles Chickens.
Don't drink too much coffee after breakfast. You might face a latte problems.
"On cloud wine."
What was Valentine’s favorite dessert for the French cat?
Chocolate mousse
Why did the two slices of bread disappear in the middle of the night? They wanted to e-loaf together.
The student asked the teacher, “Cashew a question?”, and the teacher replied, “Nut now”.
Who is a potato’s favorite author? Edgar Allen Poe-tato.
What did one Jack-o-lantern say to the other? Cut it out!
What's the motto of vegetables? Don't worry, pea happy.
My doctor said I need to change my diet. He said I should eat more more caviar and drink more champagne. So, I said, "That's insane! What kind of a diet is that?" He replied, "It's called a High Fluten Diet."
What is the cherry fruit's favorite American talkshow? The Cherry Springer Show of course!
So I was standing in the grocery store comparing the prices of a couple packs of hummus when my roommate came up to me and suggest the off brand roasted red pepper kind to which I replied:
"Ya, I'm not really sure about that brand. They seem to be very hit and hummus for me."
He was not impressed.
Strawberries love to travel. Their favorite mode of transport is the wind-jam-mer.
Did you hear about the guy who had an addiction to cheddar cheese?
It was only mild.
Why don't cows have any money? Because farmers milk them dry
Excuse me waiter, I have a question about the house salad.
Does it come with window dressing?
What do two cherries say when they get married? I promise to cherry-ish you forever.
What do you call an anthropomorphic animal blended in ice cream?
A McFurry
We're like three peas in a pod, but lately I feel left out. It's making me quite unhap-pea.
Eating no meat except fish is really bothersome.
I should stop being a Pesky-tarian.
What do you sing to cows on their birthdays?
Happy birthday to moo…
What do you get when your dog jumps into the fire pit? A hot dog.
Due to unusually successful harvests of chickpeas this year, the price of hummus is going to fall dramatically.
Buy the dip.
Wine Lovers Rhyme: A friend of wine is a friend of mine!
When do franks tell insults? At a wienie roast!
Who answers the door at the nut house?
The peanut buttler.
What was the pumpkin's favorite sport?
Squash.
If you coriander into my tomato soup, you will give me a soup-herb dish.
I caught the chef sticking his hand in the cooking pot. He looked at me and said...
"I was just feeling a little chili."
A strawberry screamed at the other, "Were it not that ripe, we wouldn't have ended up in this jam."
Why did the man put the cake in the freezer? Because his wife told him to ice it!
One day on the highway, I saw a packet of onions and cheese walking down the road. When I offered them a lift, they declined by saying that they were 'Walkers'.
Everybody romaine calm.
How do you know you in "love" with spicy food? After getting to third basil.
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