What’s the best view you can get in our galaxy? A view of the milky way from mars.
What are the longest lasting relationships in the fruit world? Orange-d marriages.
Why did the blonde stare at the carton of orange juice? It said concentrate.
Why can’t people without feet have dairy products? They lactose.
Which nut is the best at playing tag?
Catch-yous aka cashews.
What do you call a melon that commits a crime?
“A water-fellon!”
Why wouldn’t the reporter leave the mashed potatoes alone? He desperately wanted a scoop.
Salami get this straight - you don't like meat puns?!
What happened to the renegade donuts?
They went down in a glaze of glory.
What‘s an Italian’s favorite tea?
Spagettea!
I love you from my head tomato
Why did the vegetable thief wet his pants?
Because he took a leek!
In a romantic date, Romeo says to Juliette “Baby! You are the pineapple of my eyes!”
Cows love music. In fact, they even have a favourite note: beef flat.
Ugh.. I ate too much hummus..
And now I filafel.
Why did the wine connoisseur insist on drinking from an old tire?
He heard it was a Goodyear!
Went to a German restaurant. The beer was fine,
But their sausage was the wurst!
If you are wondering about the fuzziest character in the gaming world, well it is definitely Princess Peach.
What rhymes with orange?
No, it doesn’t.
How do monsters like their eggs?
Terri-fried.
I got some salt in my eye
Now it’s sea salt.
I have so mushroom in my heart for you.
A man likes sending random stuff to his friends through the mail because he finds it funny.
This particular time the man takes some lettuce to the post office to ship to a friend from back home.
He tries to package it up but it won't fit unless he cuts it into smaller peices. He cuts it up and stuffs it in a large envelope, however he forgets to write out and attach a shipping label. He doesn't realize his mistake at the time and brings it to the counter to send.
The postal workers says: "You can't send a salad like that, it needs adressing".
Last time I was in France I wanted to ask a question about strawberries
But I wasn't sure how to fraise it.
I thought about making a new condiment that was a mixture of Ketchup and Mustard.
But then I decided the name KetchTard would be pretty MustUp.
It peels nice to be voted in as the most appeeling model in the contest.
What do you call a potato at a football game? A spec-tater.
Can I have some of your avocado?
GUAC NO! I give zero guacs! You need to guac off!
What happened when the butcher backed up into the meat grinder? He got a little behind in his work!
Why did the hipster burn his tongue? Because he ate his soup before it was cool.
What is a ghost peppers favorite Leonardo Dicaprio film? Catch me if you Cayenne.
Q: What happens to a cherry tree when it grows up?
A: It blossoms
Some people like beer goggles. I prefer wine glasses.
What did the nut tell itself before crossing the finish line? “I pe-can do it!”
Why did the giant use clouds to make pancakes? To make them light and fluffy.
hat did the pizza slicer say when he wanted to rob the pizza?
“Hand over the dough or I’ll cut you!”
Why did the strawberries turned red? Because they saw the salad dressing.
Why did the cheese lover hide cheese in the back of his fridge?
In queso emergency.
What do you call Chewbacca when he has chocolate stuck in his hair? Chocolate Chip Wookiee.
So yesterday I saw a bottle of ketchup steal a bottle of mustard
'Twas saucepicious
What do you give a dog with a fever? Mustard, it's the best thing for a hot dog.
How do you get a mouse to smile?
Say cheese.
What do you call a sad cup of coffee? A depresso.
What did the cheese say to the other cheese? I smell something swiss-picious!
Why did Mrs. Wine Grape run away from home?
She was tired of raisin a family.
My mom is really soup-rised at the outcome when she puts yeast in the broth.
Everyone needs to eat bread because loaf is what makes the world go round. Loaf truly is.
Talking at the local chocolate factory is frowned on. When I’m there, I need to wispa.
A person who only loves himself and waffles in the entire world is an Eggomaniac.
What do we call the period in between eating a peach? – It is called a pit stop.
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