How do eggs get around?
On a s-egg-way.
Why did the cantaloupe jump into the pool?
“It wanted to be a watermelon.”
I had thought of a lot of good bread puns, but they seem to have gone a rye. I know the feeling.
Maturity is typically most rapid in a low latitude, where women and pineapples most do thrive.
What kind of beer can you make from a potato?
Spud Light.
Did you know milk is the fastest liquid in existence? It’s pasteurized before you ever notice.
Whenever I give my daughter cherries, she stuffs them in the chair
Now we call them chairries
How do you say “four avocados” in Spanish?
Um, avo-cuatro?
What do bandages like to put on their salad?
A wound dressing.
Whom did the cheesy Bible start with? Edam and Eve.
Why do wookies love chocolate chip cookies? Because they are chewy.
What is Bruce Lee’s favourite fruit? Wataaaaar melooooon?
What lives in apples and is an avid reader? A bookworm !
Walnuts are hard to crack open. It can take several mi-nuts.
What is a ghost peppers favorite Leonardo Dicaprio film? Catch me if you Cayenne.
What's the most popular American cheese sitcom? Curd Your Enthusiasm
What did the steak say when he came across his nemesis? Ah, we meat again!”
The cashew called the peanut boring.
The peanut felt very unsalted.
How does a potato win at Street Fighter? By mashing the kick button.
Why did the strawberries turned red? Because they saw the salad dressing.
What do you call a serial killer watermelon? A slaughter melon.
The problem with collecting wine is that you always end up getting screwed.
Q: What happens when two oranges collide?
A: They get en-tang-led!
Did you hear what happened when the decorator painted his wife with cheese? He double Gloucester!
My son just tried to tell me a joke about pumpkins.
Oh, gourd, was it awful.
Some people say popcorn is hard to chew. There’s a kernel of truth to that.
Why are pickles in sandwiches always so polite?
They're well-bread.
What does a man consider a seven-course meal? A hot dog and a six pack of beer.
Why did the man go into the pizza business?
He wanted to make some dough.
The nut gave her boyfriend the kola shoulder for missing their date.
I sent back the soup served to me at the restaurant. It was not of soup-reme quality.
What has 100 teeth and eats wieners? A zipper!
Broccoli: I look like a tree. Walnut: I look like a brain. Mushroom: I look like an umbrella. Banan Can we change the topic?
Why are some cake jokes not as good as the others?
They tend to grow mold.
I told my kids that ketchup can go on anything.
You know, It’s the least condiment denominator.
Where was the first donut cooked?
In Greece.
What do you call a fruit that doesn't take s**t from anyone? The top banana.
Why are apples afraid to grow in the United States? Because they don't want to be as American as apple pie.
What did the hot dog bun say to the hot dog? Stop touching my buns! What do you call a hot dog with nothing inside it? A "hollow-weenie!"
How is divorce like espresso? It's bitter and expensive.
What is the most sophisticated class of bread?
The upper crust.
I had no clue how much lettuce to buy, so I called my wife from the grocery store.
Turns out two heads are better than one.
What was the Peach's favorite surf band from the 60's? The Peach Boys.
What cheese cries the most?
Babybel.
What kind of cheese do alcoholics eat?
Livarot.
Why did the students eat their homework?
Because the teacher said that it was a piece of cake.
This kind of wine does not go right through you. Trust me, you will pee no noir.
Peaches tend to be really mean. After all, they have hearts of stone.
I sat on some peas in the car. It was a bumpea ride.
Why did Eve bite the forbidden apple? Because it tasted better than Adam's banana.
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