Why does cheese look normal? Because everyone else on the plate is crackers.
I know a pea that's a famous singer. He's a VIP.
So I asked Satan if he had any milk I could drink...
He told me "No whey in Hell!"
What did the artichoke say to the man eating a salad? Have a heart.
Why did the giant use clouds to make pancakes?
To make them light and fluffy.
What does a cheese say when they look in the mirror in the morning?
Halloumi.
It is a great idea to ask peaches to make your shoes. After all, they make excellent cobblers.
When an unripe strawberry saw the ripe strawberry, it went green with envy.
Dad Ordered Taco Bell
Asked how many Dillas come in their Ques 'a Dillas
What happened when an orange, an apple, and a banana all went on a picnic together?
They had a “fruit-ful” day.
Why are burgers bad at telling jokes? Because they all are cheesy.
Even though Jake was a heartthrob Casanova, he just had to break up with his long-time watermelon vending girlfriend; said she was always melondramatic about everything.
Why did the monkey like the banana? Because it had appeal!
What is a cowboy’s favorite tree?
A horse chestnut tree.
What do you call real bacon?
Genuswine
An artist painted a wonderful fruit painting. It was a beautiful peach of work.
Why did the FBI surround the president with cows? They were beefing up security!”
"Rosé all day."
Teacher: What are the seasons? Student: Salt, pepper, ginger...
A dog in a pumpkin patch is called...
a pumpkin pooch.
"Are you sure about this?"
"Crust me, I'm on a roll."
I like to roll peas from the top of a mountain. I always start at the peak.
A strawberry feels most comfortable in its py-jam-as.
What did the judge say at the finale of the meat throwing competition? The steaks have never been higher!
If you leave alphabet soup on the stove and leave, it could spell disaster.
"You are so bottlefull to me."
What did Einstein say when someone tried to steal his beer?
Nein! Mine Stein!
My wife misplace the sugar with the salt in her sugar cookies.
It was sodium disgusting.
What is a cheese lover’s favorite type of music?
R n’ Brie.
I didn’t know you could vape a chocolate bar until my wife told me to stop inhaling them.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Cash.
Cash who?
No thanks, I prefer walnuts.
Hot dog, I love a good meat pun.
Why can't you tease egg whites?
Because they can't take a yolk.
What are the longest lasting relationships in the fruit world? Orange-d marriages.
Why shouldn't you shop at the Banana Republic? Because the employees look like a bunch of dicks.
Why was the birthday cake as hard as a rock? Because it was marble cake!
What did the hummus say to the pita bread when he got sick?
I falafel.
What did the orange say to the lemon?
"'yello!"
I tried calling my fruit friend thrice, but could not peach him, as his phone was out of peach.
Where's the best place to get information about eggs?
The hen-cyclopedia.
The orange was really sad at the event because it had no peelings whatsoever for the desperate prune.
What do you get when if you cross a potato and the terminator?
A termitator.
My banana grandad got in an accident last year, he bruised like a peach!
The IT peach-guy is an expert in the field of peach synthesis.
What do you call cheese that is acting crazy? A basket queso.
What do chocolate, men, and coffee have in common?
They’re only good if they’re rich!
What is a monkey's favorite cookie? Chocolate chimp!
I was asked why I love to clean lemon juice from windows, to which I replied
“It’s easy peasy lemon squeegee.”
What did the arrogant pickle say?
I'm kind of a big dill.
Mandy: Our teacher went on a special banana diet. Andy: Did she lose weight? Mandy: No, but she sure could climb trees well!
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