How does bread woo a lover?
With lots of flours.
The soup was busy and preoccupied. He was stewing over something his friend said.
Did you hear about the salad race the other day?
The Lettuce was ahead, but the Tomato was ketchoping up...
Son: Hey dad, I stole a peach from the grocery store today.
Dad: Why?
Son: I don’t know, but I feel guilty. It’s a real pit in my stomach.
Police arrested a man who dropped his phone in the ocean. The was charged with a salt in battery.
What do you get when you cross a chicken and a cow? Roost beef!
Why did the boy leave his chestnuts in the rain?
He wanted them rusted.
What is a snowman’s favorite type of burger? A chilli cheese burger with iceberg lettuce.
Why couldn’t the orange dance in the talent show without his partner?
Because it takes two to “tang-o.”
What has 100 teeth and eats wieners? A zipper!
Having chicken broth before the game was a sure shot way to maintain energy for the Soup-er Bowl.
When you see something red that goes up and down, chances are it is a strawberry in an elevator.
What do you call a pastry that is a priest?
A Holy Donut!
The butcher’s life was at steak when the meat market caught fire.
"Stop and smell the rosé."
What is the difference between a pineapple and a school bus? The little pricks are on the inside of the bus, but on the outside of the pineapple.
A man walks into a bar with a fried egg on his head.
The bartender asks, "Why have you got a fried egg on your head?"
The man replies, "Because boiled eggs fall off."
When can a pizza marry a hot dog? After a very frank relationship.
A young slice of bread came up to his crush. He told her that he was really falling in loaf with her.
Why do baby seals swim in salt water? Cause pepper water makes them sneeze.
When is a birthday cake like a golf ball? When it's been sliced.
Many people have a mythical belief about soup. It is called soup–erstition.
How do monkeys get down the stairs? They slide down the banana-ster!
What is the recipe for Honeymoon Salad? Lettuce alone without dressing.
My wife’s an abysmal cook.
She tried combining corned beef, onions and potatoes…
She made a right hash of it.
When soup feels strained and stressed, where would it go? – A broth-el!
What do you give a dog with a fever? Mustard, it's the best thing for a hot dog.
Why did the farmer feed his pigs a mixture of sugar, vinegar, and soy sauce? He wanted sweet and sour pork.
What kind of potato do you want to take home to your parents? A sweet potato.
What do you call fraudulent milk? Cow-nterfeit.
What currency do fruit use to make purchases?
Banana bread!
What do you find if you hang from a cherry tree for hours and hours? You find that your arms get sore.
In the history class, the onion teachers taught the student onions that during the vegetable cold war, the Soviet Onion was a superpower.
What do cheese makers dance to on halloween? The muenster mash!
When I was in grade school, one of my best friends spoke Mandarin. One day, he introduced me to his parents and I told them I don’t speak orange.
What did the parmesan say when it broke up with the mozzarella?
Sorry but I am too mature for you.
I’m zesting a lemon for a recipe right now
It’s really appealing
What is a chocolate covered car called?
A Ferrari Rocher
Do librarians like white wine?
No, they like theirs well red!
Last time I was in France I wanted to ask a question about strawberries
But I wasn't sure how to fraise it.
What’s Another Name For iPhone Chargers?
Apple Juice.
What did the fans say to the band named after a famous chickpea spread?
Hummus a tune.
The strawberry went out with the grape only because he couldn't find a date.
It’s common for people with heartbreaks to crumble.
What do you call a potato at a football game? A spec-tater.
What hotel do cheese lover’s stay in?
The Stilton.
What kind of ice cream to electricians eat?
Shock a lot.
What do you call a pickle that got run over on the road?
Road dill.
Why did the orange stop rolling down the hill? It ran out of juice.
I went to watch a play and there were so many peach errors in the dialogues.
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