A lemon says to an orange, “What are you up to?”
The orange replies, “Not much. Just hanging ‘round.”
Don't be a jerk-o-lantern
What happened to the football team that practiced in a corn field?
They got creamed!
What do you give a horse that has just won the Kentucky Derby? An Appletini.
The pot of coffee he just made is basically break fluid.
What is ice cream’s favorite TV show?
Game of Cones.
Did you see the award-winning movie about a hot dog? It was an Oscar wiener!
What’s the only type of melon that changes colours at will? Well, a chamelon.
What do you call a pig thats wrong? Mistaken bacon.
Thanks to you, I’m saddled with unnecessary peelings.
What do you call a baby lion on lettuce?
Cub Salad.
What did the duck eat for lunch? Soup and Quackers.
What did the cherry say to the cherry pie? I really crust you.
I got arrested for the way I eat corn.
They charged me with a salt and buttery.
What did Bacon say to Tomato? Lettuce get together!
Just found a fly in my beer. I'm feeling buzzed.
Q: How do you make a blueberry?
A: You strangle a pea.
What do dogs love to eat for breakfast?
woofles
How did I make the mango tree fit in my flower-pot?
I planted it.
Why did the cherry blossom tree seem scared when it was trying to make a cherry pie? Because it was baking like a leaf.
What do you call a pig that can tell you about his ancestors? History in the bacon.
What do you call people avoiding healthy fats?
Avocadonts.
What does a cheese say when you ask him to share a secret?
He cantal.
What did the caffeine addict name his cats?
Cream and Sugar.
What do you call fake ramen noodles? An impasta.
I like you a latke!
Too tired, I’m out of aspara-gas.
So yesterday I saw a bottle of ketchup steal a bottle of mustard
'Twas saucepicious
Do you know why do the hipsters burn their tongue? It is because they eat their soup before it gets cool.
What did the artichoke say to the man eating a salad? Have a heart.
What’s the difference between England’s football team and a tea bag
A tea bag stays longer in the cup.
I was gonna make a joke about Mediterranean food...
But hummus have missed the mark, and now I falafel.
I met him yesterday, he was on his way to meet the counselor for a peach therapy session.
There’s a hair in my wine. The grapes must have been fur-mented.
What do lawyers snack on?
Plea-nuts.
What do they serve at birthday parties in heaven? Angel food cake, of course!
There was an announcement on the news the other day, we've finally achieved world peas.
Why doesn't cheddar like to party with crackers? Someone always cuts the cheese.
And what's its favorite Bob Marley song? Don't Worry, Be Frappé.
What did the ice-cream say to the unhappy birthday cake? "What's eating you?"
"I'm not a wino. I'm a wineYES!"
What did the waitress say to the customer who wanted free guacamole?
“You can kiss my Hass.“
The informant obtained their information by burying themselves in the ground, disguised with a crown and some rind. Police called him the pineapple plant.
What do you drink with the Queen of England? Royal-Tea.
What do you call a spinning potato? A rotate-o.
Why did the orange lose the race?
“Because it got Im-peached.”
My neighbor said a man walked into my garden and stole my mangoes.
I am wondering where did that mango.
Did you know there’s an app for corn growers?
It’s made in Sili-corn Valley!
how do you convince meat juice out of a bovine?
You consomme out of him.
The least favorite day for an orange is a juice day.
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