You had to use rennet to curdle the milk for making Ricotta, not lemon juice!
This is not the right whey.
Why did the students eat their homework?
Because the teacher said that it was a piece of cake.
How do you know it's cold outside? When you milk a brown cow you get chocolate ice cream!
My mother is so fastidious that she eats her alphabet soup in the alphabetical order.
How can we tell the difference between a can of beef soup and a can of pork soup? Just read the labels.
Why doesn’t the squirrel accept cash or credit at his store? Because it only accepts cash.
The fruit politician is losing its support in the country because of hate peach.
Boil ’em, mash ’em, stick ’em in a stew. Happy Birthday from me to you!
A berry from which you can directly drink out of is a straw-berry.
Don’t hang around booze hounds. They’re wine-y bitches.
Did you hear about the pear that fell off of the tree and fell to its death?
The damage was irreparable.
What do you get when you cross a chicken and a cow? Roost beef!
Cherry pie will set you back 10 dollars in Antigua, but 15 in Barbados. Yes, those are the pie rates of the Caribbean.
Why did the farmer hang raincoats all over his orchard? Someone told him he should get an apple Mac
What do you get when you throw lettuce into the ocean?
I don't know lettuce sea.
What did the caffeine addict name his cats?
Cream and Sugar.
I love having dinner in a local restaurant. It has a soup-erb speciality that mixes soup and herbs.
My son's has never really had much of an appetite.
But suddenly today he's eaten a dozen Kinder eggs whole.
He's full of surprises.
What’s the best part of a cow? The topside, of course.
What kind of candy never arrives on time? Chocolate
What do you call a sweet onion? Caramelized!
Despite his puns being so orange-inal, nobody really likes them.
Join us and let’s make pizza cheese grate again.
What did the Mexican heavy metal guitarist say to his bandmates?
“Rock out with your guac out.”
What drink do goalies hate? Penal-tea.
What is a squirrel’s favorite drink? A Peanut-Kola-da.
On Valentine's Day, the peach said to his wife, "You will always have a peach of my heart!"
Fake ramen noodles are also called the impasta.
Did you see the movie about the hot dog? It was an Oscar Wiener.
Apple and orange were the only two left that evening. Everyone else had dates.
What do chickens serve at birthday parties?
Coop-cakes!
Did you hear about the potato that got its head chopped off? It was decap-potatoed.
What kind of chocolate do they sell at the airport? Plane Chocolate!
Gluten-free, dairy-free, fat-free – I love this new Champagne Diet!
Why did the monkey like the banana? Because it had appeal!
What has 100 teeth and eats wieners? A zipper!
My friend accidentally got salt in his papercut.
Talk about adding insalt to injury.
What do you call a Vegetarian with diarrhea? A Salad Shooter.
Why did the banana go out with the prune? Because he couldn't find a date.
How do you know it’s getting kind of serious with a cheese lover?
They tell you they are pretty fondue you.
What is the chemical formula for the molecules in candy? Carbon-Holmium-Cobalt-Lanthanum-Tellurium or CHoCoLaTe
What is a terrorist's preferred kind of wine?
White Infidel.
I walked into the kitchen and saw my wife chopping onions which made me cry
Onions was a good dog
Why doesn’t anyone like to hang out with crackers?
Someone always cuts the cheese.
What did the vicar use for his vegetable patch?
Lettuce spray.
What’s an apple’s favorite restaurant? Applebee’s.
If mom leaves her alphabet soup on the stove and forgets about it, it would spell disaster.
What happens when you buy too much ice cream?
Breyer’s remorse.
Who did the Caribbean jerk fall in love with? The Spice Girl next door.
The arrogant baker declared, “You’ll never hear a complaint about my doughnuts outside this shop window.”
The customer agreed, “It must be the double glazing.”
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