What’s fat, hairy and drinks a lot of coffee?
Java the Hut!
When Berry the dog dug up the woman's strawberry patch, she angrily exclaimed "That is the final straw, Berry."
Teacher: What are the seasons? Student: Salt, pepper, ginger...
How do you get a mouse to smile?
Say cheese.
The young woman decided to become a professional baker. She realized that it could help her earn her bread and butter.
What's the difference between Hummus and Humus?
"mmmm"
Where do you go to learn how to make ice cream?
Sundae school.
Why is it called Almond Milk?
Because no one would buy it if it was called Nut Juice.
What drink brings you down to earth? Gravi-Tea.
What's the only tea an Englishman can't stand?
Humidity.
Tea pun-packed poem for my mum's birthday card
It’s been oolong time since my mum was born,
About Six-tea years to date,
Chai as you might, you can’t possible list,
her cupious amazing traits
Her balanced demeanour
Her Kindness and (earl) grace,
rooibost sense of humour,
too many to name in this teany space,
to pekoe out just a few does not do her justice,
let’s not stir things up and cause more of a ruckus,
While this ode may be (chamo)miles away from a Maya Angelou,
It’s just an obnoxious way to say how very matcha I love you.
Time to celery-brate.
I found a sour strawberry today. It was berry bad.
I asked the pianist if he could play the Chick Pea Song.
He said, "Maybe. Can you hummus a few bars?'
What kind of donuts fly? Plain ones!
Q: What is a peach’s favorite book?
A: War and Peach
What is the only thing that can cure a sick do-nut?
An antidought!
What do you call a chicken staring at lettuce?
Chicken sees a salad.
Do you know what is so special about the alphabet soup of Twitter? It only allows 140 letters.
Why did the giant use clouds to make pancakes? To make them light and fluffy.
What do you get when you cross a smurf and a cow?
Blue cheese.
The Bee Gees were such fans of onions that they even dedicated a song to it. They named it 'Chives Talking'.
Patient: Doctor, I get heartburn every time I eat birthday cake." Doctor: Next time, take off the candles.
Despite the pun being so orange-inal, it wasn’t all that funny.
I have a beer snob friend with Photophobia. He hates natural light.
What did the skeleton order for lunch? Spare ribs!
The apple says to the pineapple “What? Go out with you tonight? It will not happen in a million years!” Since then, we have a crushed pineapple.
Why did the orange go to the doctor?
“It wasn’t peeling well.”
What do a pregnancy test and hummus have in common?
They both require a chickpea.
What does the ginger bread man put on his bed? A cookie sheet.
What do you call a cake that likes heavy metal? Megadeth by Chocolate.
What’s the best thing to put in a donut?
Your teeth.
Do not be sad because of these bad words. You are always a fineapple in my heart.
What do u get from a perverted apple? Hard Cider.
The mother helped her child bake bread because it was a labor of loaf. True enough.
My friend thought ketchup didn’t exist
So I told him to check his sauces.
What kind of cheese to beavers eat?
Edam.
What is the name of the dancing chocolate bar?
Nestle Crunk bar.
Did you know that milk is a very religious beverage? Most of them are pastor-ized.
Why didn't the drunk Mexican druglord find the Bacon Tree? Because he walked into a Ham Bush!
What did the doughnut say to the pizza?
If I had as much dough as you, I wouldn’t be hanging around this hole.
My wife just started an all-fruit diet.
There was enough food to make a mango crazy.
Why did the coffee file a police report?
Because it was mugged.
Who tells the best egg jokes?
Comedi-hens.
Why did the donut go to the dentist? It needed a filling!"
"I need to re-wine my life."
You shouldn’t put orange slices in your beer. Well, maybe once in a Blue Moon.
What is an elf's favorite kind of birthday cake? Shortcake!
Why did the farmer buy a brown cow?
He wanted chocolate milk.
What vegetable isnt allowed on cruise ships?
Leeks.
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